Chapter 73: Chapter 73

Maxi wanted to feign indifference, but she could not stop her face from stiffening. Her discomfort must have been obvious, as Ruth quickly cleared his throat.

“My lady, it seems I have said too much. What I meant was… there is a reason for Sir Ursuline’s hostility. The commander to whom he swore fealty not only spurned the person to whom he pledged a geas, but married the daughter of the man he despises the most. Considering that, Sir Ursuline’s displeasure is not so surprising.”

“I-I see…”

Maxi nodded somberly. The thought that Riftan would have been better off with the princess had already been weighing on her mind. Hearing Ruth confirm those fears made her heart sink.

By marrying Maxi, Riftan had not only earned the ire of the royal family, but also the animosity of his men. She felt distraught and had no idea what to do.

She stared at the edge of the desk for a moment before finding the courage to ask, “D-Do you think… th-this could cause a rift among the knights?”

“You have nothing to worry about there, my lady. The bond the Remdragon Knights share is stronger than you think. And with the exception of Sir Ursuline, they don’t seem to hold any ill will against you.”

Maxi felt slightly reassured. Ruth always speaks his mind, so I’m certain that much is true.

“Still, it would be of great help if you could placate Sir Riftan, my lady. This bleak atmosphere is not doing anybody any good.”

“I-I shall try,” Maxi replied, her tone doubtful.

Having witnessed the magnitude of Riftan’s rage, Ruth heaved a sigh as if to suggest he too knew it was an impossible task.

Maxi threw a furtive glance over the sorcerer’s tired face, reminding herself of the reason why she had come running to the library. Her mouth felt dry. She gulped and only just managed to part her lips, which seemed glued shut.

“Um… O-on a-another note…”

Ruth looked at her inquiringly. Maxi avoided his gaze by pretending to rifle through the books on the table. Her heart pounded; she felt as though she was dredging up the most shameful part of herself.

“I-I was j-just c-curious…”

Ruth furrowed his brow, evidently confused by her sudden hesitation. “What is it, my lady?”

Maxi mustered her courage.

“D-Do you think y-you could… f-fix me… w-with your magic?”

“Fix you?”

Ruth blinked, not comprehending. As he watched Maxi’s face flush beet red, something seemed to dawn on the sorcerer, and he let out a small sigh.

“My lady, magic cannot heal inherent disabilities.”

It was a truth Maxi already knew. If her impediment could be cured by magic, her father certainly would have taken care of it long ago. Nevertheless, she had recently learned of a great number of sorcerers who could create new spells. She had not inquired until now for fear of disappointment. The truth was that she had been nursing a secret hope that Ruth would turn out to be such a sorcerer — one that could fix her.

Her cheeks blazed. Clinging to the last shred of hope, Maxi asked, “I-I am a-aware of that… b-but… a-are you not c-capable of c-creating new spells? I-If you could f-find a way…”

“It is true that we may be able to find a solution with enough research. There are many mages currently researching new runes to treat afflictions such as blindness, deafness, and lameness. But none have been proven effective, so even if I were to focus all my efforts on a cure, it would still take decades.”

“I-I see…”

Maxi wanted to conceal her disappointment, but her shoulders slumped of their own accord. Attempting some semblance of composure, she began to arrange her frazzled hair.

“I-I thought as much… I-I was merely a-asking… j-just in case.”

An awkward silence stretched between them once again. After shifting uncomfortably, Maxi slowly rose from her seat.

“W-Well then… I-I shall t-take my leave. R-Riftan said he would be b-back soon.”

“M-My lady, wait—”

Maxi’s eyes widened at the rare sight of the sorcerer looking flustered.

Ruth cleared his throat and murmured in a deflated voice, “Ending our conversation here makes it feel as if I have done you a great wrong.”

“Th-That wasn’t my intention…”

“Please, sit. Why don’t we mull it over together?”

Maxi had been on edge, glancing nervously about the room. At his insistent tone, however, she lowered herself back down in her chair. Ruth seemed at a loss for words; he crossed his arms and stared up at the ceiling in silence.

“Have you tried overcoming your impediment yourself?”

The question that he finally asked after much deliberation was shockingly insensitive. Maxi glared at him, her face flushing red.

“D-Do you think I-I speak like this b-because I wish to?”

She had endured lashings that ended in torn skin, all in the name of correcting an impediment that only seemed to grow worse over the years. Maxi’s face contorted from the shame and humiliation. Ruth held up his hands defensively.

“No offence intended. I only ask because I surmise that articulation and habits of speech can be improved through training.”

“I-I have had s-speech training… E-ever since I was a-a child! B-But it proved f-futile…”

“What kind of training?”

Maxi shivered as she recalled the terrible memory of reading aloud in front of her father. He would whip her across the back with a riding crop every time she stuttered. She pushed the terrifying images to the back of her mind and offered Ruth only slivers of the truth.

“I-I recited poems… o-or read scriptures a-aloud… o-r Roemian literature…”

“Heavens, you practiced with archaic languages whilst struggling with day-to-day conversations?”

Maxi’s face flushed crimson. The flaw she had always turned a blind eye to was now on full display, and it made her want to flee.

She wished she had not brought up the subject at all. Her eyes darted to the door, but Ruth had no intention of letting her leave.

“Would it not be better to practice through daily conversations?”

“I-I have… t-tried that as well! B-But… m-my tongue refuses t-to cooperate.”

“On the contrary, my lady, I think you have improved quite a bit lately.”

Maxi’s eyes widened. Ruth gave her a wry smile.

“Have you not noticed? Apart from when you’re extremely flustered or nervous, you’ve been expressing yourself with relative ease. Why don’t you try speaking slowly and articulating as much as you can? With repeated practice, I’m sure it will greatly improve your speech even if it cannot remedy it completely. I believe that would be faster than relying on magic…”

“P-Please do not speak a-as if it were that s-simple! I-It’s not that I haven’t t-tried… I-I have! B-But nothing I do e-ever helps. Th-That’s why—”

Ruth frowned at her sudden outburst.

He had merely been offering advice. Embarrassed at her heated reaction, Maxi hunched her shoulders.

“I-In any case… I-I appreciate y-your counsel. I-I shall c-consider it.”

Ruth opened his mouth as if to respond but closed it again without a word. Maxi swiftly rose from her seat and hurried out of the library.

Once she was outside, however, she began to feel uncertain. Was it truly hopeless? Had she not had a similar realization lately that her speech was improving? Maxi stalked down the corridor and came to halt at the stairs.

Her father had been greatly averse to her speaking in front of others. It was why Maxi usually had her lessons in a private room with only her tutor.

Even when she had been freed from her strict education, she had only spoken when necessary. She had not wanted to seem a half-wit. It was also a way to avoid the exasperated looks she received every time she spoke.

She remembered the feeling of wanting to drop dead whenever someone, wearing a look of total incomprehension, asked her to repeat herself. One time, she had even gone several months without saying a word.

It was then that it dawned on Maxi: speaking had become less daunting. She even found herself enjoying it. It was a startling change, one that she could hardly believe.

Did the impediment grow worse during the time I refused to speak?

She did not know the answer. Her memory of her past self was so distorted that she could no longer tell if the pathetic and foolish Maximilian was the same person as the woman currently playing the part of Lady Calypse.

Maxi bit her lip. It was possible that living under her father had crushed any potential she may have possessed. After insisting to Ruth that she had tried, she now felt unsure as to whether she truly had. What if all she had ever done was give up?

But… even if that were the case… I’m sure it’s too late for me to fix now…

Maxi wavered, afraid that she was once again clinging to false hope. She suddenly thought of Riftan. Her chest tightened as she recalled his rage on her behalf.

She could not allow him to resort to violence at every slight she encountered. More than that, she did not want him to become the subject of ridicule among the haughty nobles for having a stammering wife.

Maxi stared into the distance below the banister with a faraway look in her eyes, her skirts bunched in her fists.