Thriller Paradise - Chapter 328

Chapter 328: South Park (3)

The quarantine center for the Peruvian Flute Bands was in Miami. The center was surrounded by barbed wire, and the logo for the Department of Homeland Security could be seen hanging on the wire at fixed intervals. Inside the center, there stood many blue and green military grade tents. Most members of the bands were wandering inside the tents. Eighty percent of them spoke in Spanish. They wore loose knitted ponchos or jumpers, and most wore hats. They looked Mexican but with a slight variation.

On the temporarily-built orange sentry towers, there were soldiers with guns to respond to sudden incidents. Many military trucks with brown tarp moved in and out of the camp. Batches of Peruvian Flute Bands were hustled out from the truck. Among them were five young Caucasian boys.

The four of them were the main characters of South Park—Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. To be clear, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were all first names, but Cartman was a surname. His full name was Eric Cartman, but other than his mother and some of the teachers, almost no one called him Eric because he was a despicable character, and not many were on a first name basis with him.

Here, we shall briefly introduce them.

First is Stan. In South Park, he should be the relatively normal character. He has a girlfriend called Wendy. They have an on-and-off relationship. During the first few seasons, he had this sick illness of vomiting whenever he was around the girl that he liked, but it’s getting better. He has a violent sister with braces called Shelly. She is incredibly powerful and has been seen to throw a piano with her bare hand when she is angry. Stan’s father is Randy, the man with the lowest bottom line in South Park… By the way, Jimbo is Stan’s uncle.

Next is Kyle, a jewish boy, and his signifying characteristic is his green Ushanka, which is a hat with ear flaps. He is honest, kind, and good with computers. His father is a lawyer. His mother has a penchant for blowing something small out of proportion and is overly protective of her children. He has a little brother in kindergarten, Ike, a Canadian kid who was adopted.

The third character is Kenny, recognizable from the orange hooded parka that he wears where only his face is shown. He has problems enunciating his words, and he comes from a very poor family. He dies in every episode, and the deaths are sudden and cruel like those from Final Destination. His hidden identity is Mysterio, a superhero on a mission to save the world. But Kenny has a salacious side. His knowledge about sex is far beyond his peers; in one episode, he even died from syphilis.

Lastly, we have Cartman. From the animation style, he looks different from his three friends. He’s very fat, but he won’t admit it. His slogan is: “I’m not fat; I just have big bones.” Cartman is the most despicable character at South Park. He is evil, greedy, cunning, and has some curiously innocent ignorance in certain areas. He is also extremely racist, self-centered, and has no understanding of the term ‘guilt’. Cartman is sometimes incredibly stupid, but other times, he’s a genius. He’s good at collecting information, sharp, and highly territorial. Other than that, he is fluent in many languages and is often the leader in many episodes. He has many twisted and prejudiced views such as ‘every Jew will have a bag filled with coins strung around their neck’, ‘people can eat with their *ssholes’, and ‘hippies must die’. In the world of South Park, his strange views are often proven to be true.

And these are the four main characters of South Park.

The fifth kid who was captured alongside them was the classmates of the four main characters, Craig. Craig was normally dressed in blue and had a very nasally voice. He visited the counsellor’s room a lot, and one would often find him at the door of the counsellor’s office waiting for his turn. His catchphrase was ‘If I could say sh*tballs to the principal, I’d be so happy…’

Other than a sharp tongue, Craig and his family had a habit of flipping people off. That should be the main reason he was often punished with detention. So… why would these five Caucasians kid be quarantined?

There were two reasons. One, to earn money. They were selling CDs under the disguise of Peruvian Flute Bands. They held instruments and were performing ‘London Bridge is Falling Down’ on the street. Two, the intelligence of the other characters during that episode had all lowered again. So, the military could not recognize that these five kids were not Peruvian.

“I’m sorry, sir?” Stan and his friends got down from the truck and pushed through the crowd, making their way to one of the sentries. “Sir, there is a misunderstanding. Can we talk to you?”

“Sir, can we have a word with you?” Kyle added.

The anti-terrorist soldier looked at him and replied, “Go away! I’m not buying your horrible CDs!”

“It’s not that, sir,” Stan replied. “There is a huge misunderstanding. I’m not actually Peruvian…”

The soldier shouted back. “I’ve told you! I will not buy your lousy CDs today!”

He was agitated. “Do you not understand that? I can’t stand this!”

Then, a real Peruvian Flute Band member walked to the children and used Spanish to ask the soldier, “Sir, would you like to buy a CD?”

The next second, he was shot dead.

The five children looked at the dead body, which was a foot away, with gaping mouths and complete shock.

…

At the hospital, Feng Bujue’s plan was running smoothly. He did not approach anything; he followed the signs and soon found the storeroom. During that period, he shamelessly swiped a large travel bag from a coma patient and planned to use that to carry his resources.

“Hmm… Bandages, sanitizer, syringe…” He looked through the stuff but could not find any medicine. The blood bags in the fridge were useless to him.

“Looks like a detour to the pharmacy is necessary,” Feng Bujue said. He had passed the pharmacy earlier. Across from the door, a security guard sat reading a newspaper, and the door to the pharmacy was the very thick metallic door. Obviously, for a place that stocked morphine, the hospital still quite valued it.

“It shouldn’t be too hard to destroy that door, but there are so many people in the corridors… Even though it doesn’t matter if I start a killing spree, if that attracts the group of madmen from the South Park Police…”

With that in mind, Feng Bujue had a plan. He planned to use a trap befitting the intelligence of the characters in this world to move the people away.