This Taoist Master is too Frivolous - Chapter 175
Chapter 175: Chapter 148: The Stone Coffin Cracks Open!
Translator: 549690339 |
Hate! Hate! Hate!
At this moment, Xu Yang could only hate himself for being so idle. Why did he have to use his “Heavenly Eye” to look at Emperor Qin Shi Huang’s Mausoleum?
He hated that his eyes were “blinded”, causing him to miss the “beautiful scenery” before him.
But…
When the eyes cannot see, the other senses of a person are infinitely magnified, resulting in a different experience altogether!
Feeling helpless, he decided to actively cooperate and gasped, “Mengxi… Shall we go to the bed? Or the sofa if that’s not possible… I feel a bit awkward in a coffin.”
“Shut up!”
Yun Mengxi retorted, “Am I, the mistress of this place, unable to make decisions for myself?”
After all, she was a virgin.
Even with Xu Yang’s cooperation, it still felt awkward in the beginning.
However, this kind of thing eventually becomes self-taught as long as one is willing to explore. Gradually, Yun Mengxi became accustomed to it and began to enjoy the process.
For a moment…
The coffin shook, and the entire weight of the stone coffin, which was more than a thousand kg, began to sway rhythmically.
Neither of them knew that there were already three invisible drifters in the room…
Under normal circumstances, both Xu Yang and Yun Mengxi would have sensed their presence. However, at such a moment, it was understandable for them to neglect their surroundings!
“Shishi… Is this what lovemaking between men and women looks like?”
Curious as a baby, Yue Yukio inquired, “It’s so strange. Mengxi is in pain at first, but now she seems very comfortable?”
Liu Shishi, blushing like an apple, had never seen such a scene before. Although she was an elder sister, she pretended to know everything and calmly responded, “Well, if you don’t understand, just watch and learn. It will come in handy in the future.”
Over an hour later…
As the battle came to an end…
Crack…
The heavy stone coffin finally cracked under the constant pressure.
Splash!
The once invisible Liu Shishi, Yue Yukio, and Yang Yin dissipated like Yin wind in the room.
Yun Mengxi, with a satisfied expression, said disdainfully, “Heh, that’s all there is to it… By the way, remember to buy me a new coffin, I want a golden nanmu one, with a bigger inner space… This broken stone coffin is too small, I can’t even stretch my legs properly!”
Xu Yang:
Still reeling from the experience, he tried to put on his clothes, only to realize that they were already torn to shreds.
He had no choice but to walk out of the bedroom naked, sitting on the sofa with his legs spread like the Chinese character “Tai”.
He stared blankly ahead, picked up a cigarette from the table, lit it, took a deep puff, and muttered, “This is freaking unbelievable… I actually got screwed by a zombie…”
“My first time, and it happened inside a coffin?”
The crucial point is…
The coffin cracked!
Footsteps were heard near him.
It was Yun Mengxi, who threw a set of clothes to Xu Yang and said, “Put it on.” Then she sat down beside him, also taking a Chinese cigarette from the box on the coffee table and lighting it. Crossing her legs, she said indifferently, “What’s with the long face, you big man? You’re crying like it’s a funeral.” “Don’t worry, I’ll take responsibility!”
Then she yawned and said, “Alright, you better get some rest. I’m going to sleep now.”
Xu Yang: “…”
He closed his eyes and contemplated for a moment before suddenly bursting into laughter.
“It was awesome!”
“So cool and refreshing…”
“And since Shishi and Yuluo didn’t stop us when they saw us, this means they tacitly approved.”
Xu Yang didn’t know Liu Shishi, Yue Yuluo, and Yang Yin had been “peeking” at them earlier, but the ripple effect caused by their disappearance into the Yin wind at the end didn’t escape Xu Yang’s notice.
He finished his cigarette, fumbled around until he grabbed his clothes, and sauntered off to the bathroom.
After taking a cold shower, Xu Yang used his fire elemental essence to dry his body and hair before putting on his clothes.
He couldn’t see the time, as he was not in the mood to sleep, so he sat cross- legged and began practicing his “Heavenly Eye Skill.”
Soon…
It was daylight.
The sound of car horns on the road outside became more frequent.
Using his spiritual power instead of his eyes, Xu Yang “viewed” his way out of the room, bumping into Yue Yuluo.
Yue Yuluo sweetly said, “Dear, elder sister made a medlar and lotus seed porridge for you, and we also bought fresh oysters from the market. She said she wants to help you regain your strength… I’ve also prepared your toothbrush and toothpaste… Let’s go brush our teeth.”
That said…
She stepped forward to hold Xu Yang’s arm, “Dear, since you can’t see, walk slowly and be careful when stepping down the stairs.”
Medlar?
Oysters?
Xu Yang’s mouth twitched.
His hand, held by Yue Yuluo, began to fidget and lightly pinched her little hand, whispering, “Madam, did you all sneak a peek at me last night?”
“Huh?”
Yue Yuluo hurriedly replied, “No, no, dear. We truly didn’t peek at you and Mengxi doing**!”
With that word being censored into an asterisk, did they still claim they didn’t peek?
Under Yue Yukio’s meticulous care, Xu Yang brushed his teeth, washed his face, and was helped to the dining table.
Yun Mengxi yawned and walked out of her room.
She seemed to have just woken up, and upon seeing Liu Shishi and the other women, her eyes showed a moment of panic… But soon, she regained her composure!
What am I afraid of?
Anyway, they don’t know…
But immediately she found that the way Yue Yuluo, Yang Yin, and Liu Shishi looked at her was strange. She reacted and thought, “What’s going on? Did they find out about last night’s incident… That’s right, I was so loud, they must have heard it!”
Thinking of this, Yun Mengxi couldn’t help but blush.
She glanced at the dining table and saw that Xu Yang’s porridge was full of goji berries, which made her feel even more embarrassed. However, hiding and suppressing her feelings were not Yun Mengxi’s style. She took a sip of porridge, calmed herself a little, and said, “While everyone is here, I have something to say.”
The three women all turned to look at her.
Even Xu Yang couldn’t help but “look” at Yun Mengxi.
Yun Mengxi felt a little flustered under their gazes, but she pretended to be calm, putting on a casual appearance, and said boldly, “Last night, I slept with Xu Yang!”
“!!!”
Xu Yang exclaimed inwardly, “Holy crap!” Although he knew that Liu Shishi and the others already knew about this, couldn’t she have phrased it more elegantly?
“Hehe!”
Yue Yuluo laughed and said, “Mengxi, we already knew… Shishi told us it’s a good thing.”
“Huh?”
Yun Mengxi was momentarily stunned and asked, “How is it a good thing?”
For a while, the four women chattered together.
Words like having a son, having a daughter, twins, and how many children they would have sprouted up. Yang Yin even came up with names for the children. Seeing this, Xu Yang felt extremely relieved.
Harmony in the harem…
That’s the dream of many kings.
He sighed, “As long as you sisters can live together in harmony, I will be relieved… When my eyes are better, we will hold the wedding ceremony and invite experts from both the Yin and Yang realms to join us. It must be lively.” “But…”
Yue Yuluo said, “Husband, didn’t you say you were going to invite Minister Wang and the old ancestors from Zongsheng Palace? But with them present, those Yin spirits and malevolent beings probably won’t dare to come, right?” “This…”
Xu Yang fell into deep thought.
He had only thought that since Liu Shishi and the others were ghosts, it would be more lively to invite some ghosts.
Moreover, Yue Yukio’s sister was still in the Ghost Market. How could she not invite her, since she was the only “relative” on the girl’s side?
If you invite her, you should also invite her subordinates and friends, right?
But what if Wang Hou and the old ancestor from Zongsheng Palace were really coming… What should he do?
After thinking it over, Xu Yang said with a smile, “Don’t worry, Minister Wang and the old ancestor are not rigid-minded people. Inviting some Yin spirits and malevolent beings who never harmed people should not be a problem.”
If they were rigid, they would not become “Snake Demon Knights” and “Tree Knights.”
The breakfast they had together was so harmonious.
After the meal, Xu Yang asked, “I am going to the shop. Who wants to come?” Yang Yin needed to wash the dishes, Liu Shishi wanted to watch her TV series, but Yue Yuluo said, “Husband, let Mengxi accompany you. I want to return to Yue Mansion for a while… After all, marrying you is a big event, and I need to inform my sister.”
Xu Yang thought to himself…
You didn’t even ask your sister before sending a paper man to bewitch me and drag me into the bridal chamber. Now you’re suddenly asking?
Yun Mengxi originally wanted to sleep, but considering she didn’t have a coffin now and Xu Yang’s eyes were inconvenient, she had to go with him to the funeral shop.
The Daoist Conference started on July nth and ended on July 13th, lasting three days.
Xu Yang had gone one day earlier, and before going to Zhouzhi, he had just bought a villa. He spent those two days buying stuff for his home, so he hadn’t opened the shop… Today was already July 16th, the twenty-ninth day of the fifth lunar month.
Counting the time, it had been almost a week since he last opened the shop.
As soon as Xu Yang opened the door, the owner of the hardware store next door came over, nibbling on seeds.
She leaned on the door, probably in her 40s, her body slightly overweight, sporting curly hair. While spitting out melon seed shells, she spoke in a Wu City dialect, “Xu, where have you been these days?”
Xu Yang replied, “I went to Xi’an.”
“Xi’an is nice, it even has the Terracotta Warriors, did you see them?”
“Yeah, I saw them.”
“Huh?”
The hardware store owner suddenly changed her tone, surprised, “What happened to you? You went on a trip and now you’re closing your eyes to look at people?”
Xu Yang laughed bitterly and said, “Older sister, I’m not closing my eyes to look at people; I’ve just had some problems with my eyes…”
Ten minutes later.
The owner of the bun shop across the street, where Xu Yang often ate, came over with a box of milk. He looked Xu Yang up and down and couldn’t help but sigh, “Air… what a mess. You should have been more careful, kid. You haven’t even gotten married, and this has happened. Will you be blind from now on?” The owner of the adult shop next door also came.
He brought some fruit and sighed, “Ah, poor kids…”
Xu Yang: ” ”
The bun shop owner had been working across the street for seventeen or eighteen years.
Xu Yang had eaten his buns since he was a child, and they were very familiar with each other. Upon hearing what he said, Xu Yang closed his eyes and stepped forward, “Uncle Wang, Mr. Zhang, what’s going on?”
Uncle Wang from the bun shop said, “The wife of the hardware store’s Xiao Ma said you went to Xi’an and had an accident, and now you’re blind…”
Xu Yang held his forehead, speechless.
He finally understood the meaning of the phrase “Good news never leaves the house, but bad news travels far and wide.”
He immediately explained that he was fine and that his eyes would be all right in a few days.
Business in the shop was as cold as ever.
After cleaning, Xu Yang sat down at the counter. For more than two hours, he didn’t see a single customer… Yun Mengxi sat beside him, bored, and moved closer, whispering, “Xu Yang, since there’s no business in the shop, why don’t we go upstairs and sleep?”
PS: The second update is here, and I’ll continue writing.
