This Taoist Master is too Frivolous - Chapter 116:
Chapter 116: Chapter 107: Practicing martial arts turned himself into a zombie!
Translator: 549690339
Xu Yang, in a daze, stepped forward and helped push the lid back onto the coffin.
Inside the coffin, the zombie said, “Right… help me put the nails back.”
Xu Yang picked up the coffin nails one by one from the ground and reinserted them.
Zombie, “Okay, now I can have a good night’s sleep… Goodnight, Little Xu Zi!”
Xu Yang expressionlessly, “Good night, Makabaka.”
He walked out of the nanny room and came to the living room, plopped down on the sofa, looking somewhat lost!
What the hell!
Am I hallucinating or is it a zombie who deceived me?
Aren’t zombies all fierce-looking, incredibly ugly monsters?
Why…
Is she so beautiful?
That face, that figure… better than Liu Shishi, even surpassing her. The skin is delicate, better than any star, without the imagined dark, festering appearance.
It wasn’t long before Liu Shishi, Yang Yin, and Yue Yuluo returned.
They each changed into a different set of clothes, carrying a lot of bags.
“Huh?”
“Husband, didn’t you say you were going to rest?”
Yue Yuluo asked with concern when she saw Xu Yang.
Xu Yang mysteriously didn’t mention the “beautiful zombie” and said, “I got up to pee… What were you doing?”
Yue Yuluo said, “Husband, didn’t you say we’re going to Changan tomorrow? I took Shishi and Yinyin to my house to get some clothes.”
She changed into a new long skirt, turned around in front of Xu Yang, and asked with a chuckle, “Husband, do you think my clothes are beautiful?”
“Beautiful, beautiful.”
Xu Yang praised, “Shishi and Yang Yin’s clothes are also beautiful… By the way, are we taking a high-speed train or driving tomorrow?”
Wu City to Changan is not far, driving only takes seven or eight hours.
High-speed trains are more convenient and faster, but Liu Shishi doesn’t have an “ID card.” She had to follow Xu Yang invisibly on the train.
After discussing, the trio of ghosts, they decided to drive to Anchang.
They still had two days before the “Daoist Skills Conference”, they could take a trip along the way, relax, and enjoy the scenery. It would also be easier for them to find Liu Shishi a “tomb” if they drove.
The three female ghosts went upstairs.
Their bedrooms were on the second floor.
Xu Yang lit a cigarette to calm himself and then went back into the nanny room.
He carefully approached the stone coffin and knocked on the lid.
“What’s the matter?”
The zombie inside the coffin complained, “Why do you keep knocking on my coffin lid if there’s nothing wrong? Do you want to disturb my sleep?”
“I’m going to Changan City tomorrow, and I might not be back for four or five days. Do you want to come with me?”
Xu Yang asked.
If the zombie couldn’t break the seal of the stone coffin, it could be left at home.
However, now she can easily get out of the stone coffin. How can Xu Yang trust her at home?
What if she runs out and bites a few people, spreading corpse poison? It wouldn’t be long before the whole Wu City would fall… Of course, the main point is that the zombie looks just like a normal person, so having her around shouldn’t cause any trouble.
“Changan City?”
Inside the coffin, the zombie asked, “Are there any good food?”
“Yes!”
Xu Yang gave a definite answer!
The zombie said, “I can go, but you have to bring my stone coffin… I can’t sleep anywhere else.”
Xu Yang, ” ”
With all this going on, how could Xu Yang still be in the mood to sleep?
He immediately went to the living room, opened his phone, and started looking at “Daoist Collection” online, preparing to cram in preparation for the written test of the “Daoist Skills Conference.”
Soon enough, it was sunrise.
Liu Shishi and the others came downstairs and started preparing breakfast.
Just as breakfast was being made…
Bang, bang, bang!
The coffin in the nanny’s room began to shake.
The trio of women trembled, and Yang Yin quickly stood up, “Boss, what’s going on? Is that zombie about to break free?”
Xu Yang expressionlessly said, “Leave her be!”
About a minute later, the zombie came out of the nanny’s room.
She was curvy, walked elegantly, and sat directly at the dining table, cursing, “Motherfucker, you don’t invite me for breakfast, are you looking for a fight?”
Liu Shishi, ” ”
Yang Yin, ” ”
Yue Yuluo, ” ”
All three women were dumbfounded, their eyes full of confusion and vigilance.
Ignoring the “I saw a ghost” look in the eyes of the three women, the zombie grabbed Xu Yang’s eight treasures porridge, and without caring about the heat, drained the steaming hot porridge in three gulps at odds_fm.
Then…
She spat it all out!
“Motherfucker!”
“What kind of porridge is this?”
“Who the hell puts peppercorns in porridge?”
Bang!
Yue Yuluo slammed the table and demanded, “Who are you? Why are you eating my husband’s porridge? And, why are you wasting food?”
Liu Shishi and Yang Yin came back to their senses from their shock.
Although they couldn’t understand why a zombie was so enchanting, they were furious that the porridge they had made was wasted by a stranger!
The zombie wiped her mouth, leaned back casually in her dining chair, and sneered, “Am I wasting food or you wasting food? The porridge is terribly cooked, how can you blame me for saying that?”
” If you can cook, why don’t you do it yourself?”
Liu Shishi sneered, wanting to find fault and teach the arrogant zombie a lesson; Who would have thought this rascal would completely disregard the usual rules, stand up, and ask just what she wanted to hear, “Where’s the kitchen?”
“Take me there!”
“Looks like I have to show you my cooking skills today before you’ll be convinced!”
She went into the kitchen, rummaged through the cabinets, and found some ingredients.
Then she said, “Wiry is there no stove in this kitchen?”
She didn’t know how to use natural gas.
Liu Shishi looked at Yang Yin and said, “Go teach her. I want to see what a zombie can cook!”
Yang Yin walked into the kitchen and taught the zombie how to use natural gas.
Once she learned how to use natural gas, the zombie started cooking.
She first kneaded the dough and then began cutting meat and vegetables.
Soon, she started stir-frying the vegetables in a wok.
Xu Yang, Liu Shishi, Yang Yin, and Yue Yuluo watched the zombie, who skilfully tossed the wok and added seasonings. In no time, the villa was filled with delicious aromas.
The three female ghosts looked at each other, speechless for a moment.
Xu Yang’s eyes were fixated on the female zombie’s body…
She had a great figure.
When she flipped the pan, her body naturally wiggled as well.
Xu Yang’s eyes lit up, and he couldn’t help but wipe the drool from his mouth.
“Heh!”
“Men!”
Seeing Xu Yang’s reaction, Liu Shishi sneered.
Xu Yang’s face didn’t turn red, and he calmly said, “As a normal, healthy man, it’s normal to drool when smelling something so delicious.”
After the vegetables were stir-fried, the zombie started making hand-cut noodles.
Yes!
Hand-cut noodles!
With one hand holding the dough and the other wielding a knife, she elegantly cut evenly sized noodles into boiling water. Soon, she had made a pot of handcut noodles.
She scooped the noodles out, quickly blanched them, and then added them to the stir-fried vegetables. She mixed everything together, dished it out onto plates, and set the table for five.
“Try it!”
Placing the hand-cut noodles on the table, the female zombie confidently said, “I haven’t cooked in decades, so I’m a little rusty…”
As she spoke, she grabbed a clove of garlic and started eating.
“You… eat garlic?”
Xu Yang was shocked. Zombies eat garlic?
As the zombie continued to eat, she said, “You don’t understand. Eating noodles without garlic reduces the flavor by half… Go on, everyone eat!” Eating hand-cut noodles for breakfast felt strange.
But seeing the zombie eat so heartily, Xu Yang picked up his chopsticks and started eating too.
As soon as the noodles hit his mouth, Xu Yang’s eyes lit up.
With this level of skill, opening a noodle shop would undoubtedly be a hit!
Liu Shishi, Yang Yin, and Yue Yuluo also started eating.
Compared to the zombie, their eating manners were much more elegant.
They carefully picked up the noodles, smelled them, and placed them in an empty bowl on the side.
Soon, the noodles were gone, while the breakfast the three female ghosts prepared remained untouched.
The three female ghosts blushed, realizing the difference in their cooking skills, and immediately asked the zombie for advice.
The zombie said, “Cooking requires talent, but I can see you’re not dumb. Just watch me cook, and you’ll learn.”
The three women curiously asked about the zombie’s background.
Yue Yuluo even said, “I’ve seen some zombies before, but none as beautiful as you!”
Flattered, the zombie said, “I’m from the Song Dynasty, my surname is Yun and my first name, Mengxi. I’ve loved esoteric arts since I was a child. However, I had an accident while practicing, which turned me into a zombie.”
“But, I am different from other zombies. I don’t need to drink blood to survive. My body has all the characteristics of a zombie, but without the mutation, I look like a normal person.”
She continued to tell her story.
After becoming a zombie, she absorbed moonlight to practice and eventually reached the level of “Flying Zombie.”
“Over 500 years ago, when the Ming Dynasty was established, I had already become a Flying Zombie. Sensing an impending crisis, I built myself a tomb and went into hibernation.”
“It was only 50 years ago that I came back to the world, traveled Da Xia, visited the southern and northern regions, worked as a society leader in Tongluo Bay in Xiangjiang, opened a noodle shop in the West Mountain Province, herded sheep on the grasslands, and hunted in the Changbai Mountains…”
She concealed her identity and traveled the world.
However, more than 30 years ago, she was accidentally discovered by a Maoshan Sect Taoist who exposed her identity.
“I wasn’t at full strength at the time, and the Maoshan Sect Taoists ganged up on me without any sense of honor. I was injured and had to escape back to my tomb and go back into hibernation.”
“When I woke up again, it was five years ago. Your Grandpa had broken into my tomb and woke me up.”
“That old bastard had the nerve to threaten me into becoming his granddaughter-in-law!”
As she spoke, she glanced at Xu Yang.
Xu Yang’s eyes widened, and he asked excitedly, “Did you agree?”
“Humph!”
Yun Mengxi sneered, “Why would I agree? I’ve been single and carefree for nearly a thousand years. Wiry would I marry a useless person like him?”
Xu Yang: “…”
He felt attacked.
Yun Mengxi continued, “Originally, I needed to hibernate for another three years before breaking the stone coffin’s seal. But you unexpectedly opened it!” After some conversation, the relationship between the three female ghosts and Yun Mengxi grew closer.
Meanwhile, Xu Yang remained sulky.
He locked the villa door, pulled his beloved car out of the garage, and said,
“Let’s hit the road and continue chatting.”
As for Yun Mengxi’s coffin, Xu Yang stored it in his storage space.
After filling the tank, Liu Shishi insisted on driving, saying, “I heard there’s no speed limit on the highway, and it’s a great place to speed.”
Unable to convince Liu Shishi otherwise, Xu Yang could only say, “Be careful. I’m entrusting my life to you.”
In the back seat, Yun Mengxi scoffed, “What’s a big man like you afraid of?”
“If you lose your head, it’s just a scar the size of a bowl. Besides, I’m here. What are you afraid of?”
“Even if you die, I can turn you into a zombie!”
One man, three ghosts, and one zombie.
This strange group began their journey to Chang’an City.
Liu Shishi had one other bad habit: she liked to drive while invisible.
Since Xu Yang hadn’t applied for an ETC, they had to go through the manual toll lane on the highway.
The highway toll collector was shocked to see that the driver’s seat was empty, and exclaimed, “What? Even BYD Song cars have autonomous driving technology now?”
ps: The third update is here, a 3500-word chapter, with a total of almost 11,000 words updated today. There are already 813 monthly tickets, brothers, let’s get some more! Once we reach 1000, we can do a prize draw!
