This Curse Is Just Awesome - Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Selling Cigarettes is a Dangerous Business
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

“Just kidding. Don’t take it seriously.”
Looking away from the counter, Chen Yu said solemnly, “I don’t need money or cigarettes. I’m asking for you to do only one thing for me.”
“What is it?”
“School.”
“…”
Perhaps few words are more powerful after all.
When the lady boss of the cigarette shop heard the word “school,” she was inexplicably moved.
She took a drag on her cigarette and slowly exhaled. Through the hazy smoke, she looked deep into Chen Yu’s eyes and said, “That’s all you want?”
“Sitting for the College Entrance Examination is all I want.”
“…you were expelled from No.2 Middle School. I don’t have what it takes to get you back in.” The lady boss leaned back in her chair and said, “I sell cigarettes. I’m not someone who has ties with a principal.”
“Other schools will do too. As long as I can sit for the College Entrance Examination.”
“Are your grades good?”
“Enough to attend university.”
“Is that so.” The lady boss was noncommittal.
She didn’t believe that a student with the potential to attend university would be expelled for smoking.
“Hmm…”
After pondering for some time, the lady boss pinched out her cigarette and said, “If you ask for something else, I won’t give you even a single cent. But if it’s attending school… I can give it a try, but I can’t guarantee you success.”
Yes!
Oh yes!
Chen Yu was immediately overwhelmed with joy. But on the surface, he remained calm and said, “Thanks a lot, then. Good people will live a peaceful life.”
After saying this, he turned around, making to leave the cigarette shop, ready to find an empty alley and have a good laugh.
Life’s ups and downs were really too exciting…
“Wait.” The lady boss suddenly spoke. “You’re homeless, aren’t you? Where are you going?”
Chen Yu turned around, “I’m gonna find a bridge hole to spend a few nights.”
“Stay here.”
Chen Yu: “?”
“You can stay here in the shop.” The lady boss stood up and walked over to Chen Yu. “No. 341B Space Portal has just opened. There are many outsiders here. It’s not safe to sleep outside.”
Chen Yu was shocked. “Am… am I hearing things?”
“You’re not going to live here for free, though. I need you to work for me. I’ll have you look after the shop.” The lady boss pointed at the counter nearby and said, “Pricing of each brand, cigarette stocking list, transporting goods, displaying them; you’ll be responsible for all these things.”
“No problem!” Chen Yu agreed without hesitation.
If he didn’t seize this unexpected blessing, wouldn’t that make him insane?…
“When I find you a school, you’ll leave at once. And there’s no salary for you.”
“No problem… but what about food?”
“That’ll be provided.”
“Alright, all good.” Chen Yu gave an OK gesture. “Where will I be sleeping?”
“In the living room upstairs. Lay down a floor mat yourself.”
Chen Yu: “No bed? I’m used to sleeping on a bed. I have a bad habit of coughing whenever I’m not sleeping on a bed.”
An odd expression passed over the lady boss’s face. “You were about to go sleep in a bridge hole, and you’re complaining about sleeping on the floor?”
“But this place doesn’t have the right conditions, does it?” Chen Yu pointed at the ceiling and said, “Good environment, well renovated; but the floor isn’t all that pleasant.” <<<<<
“How do you and your headteacher sleep in the dormitory?”
“I sleep on the bed, and he sleeps on the floor.”
“…you’re really a filial child.”
The lady boss rolled her eyes before taking Chen Yu to the second floor. “I’ll find you an empty room. You’ll sleep there from now on.”
“You’re really pretty, Miss, and so is your heart.” Chen Yu perfunctorily started to bootlick her. “Perhaps the luckiest thing to have happened to me was stealing your cigarette.”
The lady boss felt uncomfortable all over. “Shut up.”
Chen Yu: “Fine.”
On the second floor, under the command of the lady boss, Chen Yu cleared out an unoccupied room.
Then, he went to the utility room and found a foldable bed and an old table. These things would be his furniture.
“This is where you’ll live. Mop the floor and wipe the windows later.”
“Alright.” Putting down his luggage and backpack, Chen Yu said in a once-in-a-blue-moon serious tone, “Thank you, miss. You’re really a good person.”
“What’s gotten into you today? I thought you’d call me auntie instead of miss?”
“You’re so young and beautiful. Of course I have to call you miss.”
“Call me Sister Qi, then.” The lady boss took out a key and handed it to Chen Yu. “This is the key to the store’s door. You’ll be responsible for closing and opening the shop at night and in the morning.”
“Don’t you stay here at night?”
“Of course I do. I sleep in the master bedroom next door. But since I have you to work for me now, I can wake up later.” Sister Qi paused slightly before saying half-threateningly, “I keep count of everything in the store. I also have surveillance cameras in place. I’d advise you to keep your hands clean.”
“Look at how you’re talking. You really think of me as a thief. I never steal, just so you know.”
“Well, I hope so. Come with me downstairs and make note of the prices of various cigarettes. You can start working today.”
“Alright. By the way, Sister Qi, where’s my brother-in-law? Do you take care of this shop all by yourself?”
Sister Qu gently stroked her hair. “Your brother-in-law is dead.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Chen Yu sneered. “My condolences to you.”
Sister Qi: “You should say, congratulations.”
Chen Yu: “…”
…
Chen Yu had a pretty good memory.
The lady boss, Sister Qi, only introduced the cigarettes to him twice, and he was able to roughly memorize the pricing of all the cigarettes.
Red Pagoda Mountain- 1680
Yunyan- 1700
Liqun- 1750
Lesser Panda- 5400
Yuxi- 5800
Chunghwa- 9750
Aside from these, there was also the Yellow Crane Tower, Red Plum, Hademen, Damenqian, Harbin, Furongwang, Huangguoshu, Longfengchengxiang, and many other brands that Chen Yu was familiar with.
Without exception, each brand of cigarettes was incredibly expensive.
“Why are cigarettes so expensive?” Chen Yu asked.
“High taxes.”
“How high?”
Sister Qi took out a packet of Chunghwa cigarettes, which were exquisitely packed, and said, “Take this packet for example. Tobacco costs a little over 30 cents, while the finished product costs little more than 5 dollars. The rest of the price is all tax.”
Chen Yu: “What the…”
“This is fixed pricing. Customers either take it or leave.” Putting the Chunghwa cigarettes back into the cabinet, Sister Qi continued, “Selling cigarettes is no better than selling other products. You don’t have to rush your sales. Also, selling this stuff is very dangerous. Let me tell you what you should pay attention to.”
“Okay.”
“Each pack of cigarettes is very expensive. You must not sell it for the wrong price. Pay attention when you’re collecting money.”
“Got it.”
“There’ll be regular inspections by government staff. Don’t talk to them too much. We have all the proper documents. They’ll leave after reading them.”
“Got it.”
“Cigarettes are a luxury product. Customers aren’t allowed to test them. Ask them to piss off if they don’t want to pay. The law stipulates that people who buy cigarettes can’t stay in a cigarette shop for more than ten minutes.
“Got it.”
“The most important thing to note is that among smokers, many are mercenaries and wandering warriors. They have varying upbringings. Some may be powerful, some may be weak, some may be in a good mood, and some may be in a bad mood. Bear in mind, do not provoke them. When you’re servicing them, do not use any curse words. Always keep a smile on your face, and do not invite trouble upon yourself…”
“Creak——”
Before she finished speaking, the store door was pushed open, and a middle-aged man with a bristly beard walked in with a stack of banknotes in his hand. “Miss, I want cigarettes. Give me a pack of Daqian…”
“Piss of! Can’t you see that I’m f*ckin busy right now?”
“Oh, I’ll come later, then…”
After the customer went away, Sister Qi turned back and looked at Chen Yu. “In short, you must have a good service attitude.”
Chen Yu: “G-got it…”