Chapter 22 Part 1: This chapter, in all the 108 previous lives, this is my mother’s story. Wendell is my father’s name. He’s not a new character.

My name is Cornelia Malachite Nel Lingard Melville.

I am the wife of the Duke of Wilhelm, also known as the Crimson Duke…the hero of our country.

Barefoot, frazzled hair, trodding the hall like a ghost.

Lumbering down this long hallway of my Duke’s empty mansion, feet dragging.

Wandering like a zombie towards my child, obsessed with intent to kill her.

Not able to stop myself.

NO! I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!

My heart screams this internally.

But I have no control of myself.

My body is being compelled by hatred and murderous intent.

As if I’ve been possessed by a demon.

「All…her…fault…If…if she…was never born…I…」

I’m horrified in hearing my own voice speak out like a curse.

A new child is never to blame, for anything.

Yet, I blame my misfortune on her, compelled to kill her.

The child Wendell has waited a decade to meet.

The affirmation of our marriage bond…one that I wish to destroy with my own hands.

This is an unforgivable sin.

I really am attempting to resist!

But my heart cries out in a voice too small.

I’m covered in a fog of hatred…my mind over heart…please, someone stop me…

Caught in this vortex of murderous rage, trying to imagine his face, shouting out with my heart!

Please! Someone stop me! Hurry!

…even if I must die!

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Someone calls for me from far away…echoing in vain.

No one could predict that the mother of a newborn child would escape and attempt to kill her.

And in this pointlessly humongous mansion, it’s hard to find someone without bumping into them.

I hear the sudden torrent of rain striking the roof of the mansion, a sudden static.

Like that day my weakened heart was broken.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

I’ll never forget that day.

How many times have I recalled it and broken down in tears?

It was a short time after my husband Wendell left his manor due to an order from the crown.

His mother and father, the Vygods, suddenly paid me a visit in a horse-drawn carriage.

I was nearly eight months pregnant.

I was surprised by the sudden sounds of hooves and wheels approaching, looking out the window and seeing their coat-of-arms, knowing who had arrived. I was by the window and attempted to stand, but lost my footing as my knees were shaking uncontrollably.

Why would a father and mother-in-law visit a wife while their son was away?

I held my stomach and the child inside instinctively.

I could feel my stomach turn in some ominous premonition.

It was a bad feeling…and a malicious visit.

The marquis of Vygod and his wife had arrived, and attacked the gatekeepers of the manor with the horse’s whip, and then passing, suddenly rolled up to the manor’s entrance.

The guard had tried to hold them back, but Vygod shouted,

「This is originally MY REALM! Will you stop a noble, you PEASANT?!」

And after yelling this, kicked the horse. Then he watched the aged guards scramble away and laughed as his carriage barreled into the grounds.

When the guard told me of this, I could see the whip marks on his back.

No human should have to endure that.

I wanted to run and not see them,

But it was my duty. Now that Wendell is away, I am the hostess of this mansion.

So carrying my child, I went out to see them.

Legs heavy.

As we are this poor, I have no choice but to receive them.

To deal with it myself.

And as I heard my father-in-law’s cane strike the ground as he stepped off the carriage, I froze.

My hands were covered in sweat.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

I used to trust this father and mother-in-law of mine.

My gentle, sweet Wendell’s mother and father.

It was a difficult beginning, but since I was a noble from the mountain regions, I thought that they would simply instruct me in the difficult matters of being a noble of the land.

Until that evening party from hell.

It was that day that his parents invited me to an evening party with a gentle invitation.

Wendell was on duty with the crown, taking care of some public affair.

I wanted to be acquainted with the affairs of nobles myself, and as the evening party would be an event for me, was stunned by the sudden invitation.

There were many aristocrats apparently willing to greet me happily into this new position.

They were “red-blood nobles,” those that had the old bloodlines of this kingdom.

They had always been rulers of these lands before people like I, the “blue-blood nobles” arrived as the new aristocrats of Hydrangea.

I remember the heavy door of the mansion squeaking and being slammed behind me.

This ancient mansion was almost like a royal castle.

The stone walls prevented the invasion of enemies…and screams from the inside.

There was a large hall before me, a place that enemies were lured long ago and then slain by traps and devices that slaughtered all.

I could hear suppressed snickering as I entered.

I was trapped.

I remembered my father’s warning.

「These red-bloods are filled with insane ideas from the ancient times. They think they can get away with whatever they do. Some are good, like the Crimson Duke, but you had better be careful around them.」

And my Wendell said,

「Don’t trust my father and mother. Especially if they attempt to visit while I’m away. Don’t be ignorant of your surroundings. If these red-bloods invite you somewhere, give my name in the refusal. Your kind belief in this goodness of people will not work with them. Never, and I mean NEVER, see them alone.」

He said this to me persistently over and over.

And these two men and their advice were correct.

I had rushed into a trap…all by myself.

And now I wanted to run away.
The smiles of these red-bloods were blood-curdling.

They smiled at you with such a friendly look, everyone acting like friends…but it seemed like they were just a group of perverse masks.

And there was no way home.

There was a heavy iron door that was fitted with a bar that took two men to lift.

No retreat…and I’m a duchess.

So I attempted to inhale some courage and steeled myself. My husband would not be mocked.

I pushed back my fear, laughed along with these red-bloods, tried to meet them with my faltering knowledge of these nobles, and attempted to match them in conversation.

I attempted to flatter these nobles as they did one another.

I must have seemed like an utter fool in their eyes.

Or maybe like the smell of a cooked animal that they were about to devour.

These red-bloods invited me simply to make me a mockery and a sacrifice.

I was too naive.

The blue-bloods had treated me as a duchess, no matter what they were really thinking.

But these red-bloods…I never thought their hearts could even imagine what they intended to do to me.

This illusion was shattered in an instant.

And it was my humility, sadly, that simply egged these red-bloods on.

I had become a toy for them to kick around as they pleased.

And the saddest thing of all was they were used to treating other humans in such fashion…slaves that had to obey and commoners that had no way to resist.

These red-bloods treated me harshly like a toddler grasping and rending asunder an unwanted plaything.

Every time I spoke to them, they laughed at me, mocking me.

Every movement I made was derided as foolish.

No matter what I did, ridicule.

They threw scraps of food and cups of wine at me…calmly, as if it were a normal thing.

A special dress that Wendell had given me on my birthday was besodden….and I had worn it there to impress them. In fact, he had bought it for me though it was very expensive and I had refused at first.

It was a formidable dress that impressed all that saw it…when I wore it before him, I actually kissed him for the first time.

And now all these precious memories are sullied by their malicious jeers and attacks.

It would have been better to have been hated or even murdered.

They knew of the importance of this dress, and purposefully used it to debase me…the color of the dress was covered in their food and drink…contaminated.

If I had known this would happen, I would at least have worn a different dress.