Chapter 18 Part 1 – My mother’s worries. But we take it step by step together. In order to survive.

「Ahh! Even so! There’s no way you can understand what I’m saying! But you are such a genius! I’m so proud of you!」

She was so impressed that Mary lifted me into the sky and swung me around.

Her cheeks were blushing and her eyes glimmering in the sun.

Maybe it’s just because I can remember the previous 108 lives I lived.

…I feel a bit guilty.

「Ahhh oooohhh」

Oh, by the way, May.

My neck hasn’t settled yet.

Please refrain from strenuous motions.

「She surely is a gift from God! A gift from God!」

「Ahhh ohhhh oh ohhh」

My neck is getting stiff from all this movement!

Mary, calm down a bit!

My neck is about to crack!

Your gift from God is about to be returned to the Sender!

I pushed down at her palms and tried to pat them.

「Oh…sorry. I was so excited!」

Mary came to and stopped, hugging me and apologizing.

…phew…successful landing! I have returned to earth.

「It’s surprising…she really understands us.」

My mother said, hesitatingly speaking to me.

「Madam! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be so brash…」

Mary stood and bowed, turning pale and apologizing.

「It’s fine, Mary…you’re the one always caring for her.」

My mother looked sad, with no courage in her voice.

She looked so lively when she was handling the bow just a bit ago.

「Um! Madam! It may be brash to say thing, but a noble mother as yourself…」

She was scrambling to find words and couldn’t do anything but speak in haste.

It was strange to see my mother so depressed.

「I know…a noble woman has to leave parenting to a nanny…but my home’s not like the Melville’s. My mother raised me herself. Her hands were so warm. It made me happy. I knew I was loved…so I thought if I ever had a child, I would love it the same, but…」

The bow in her hand slipped and hit the ground.

「I…tried to kill her…with my own hands!」

「Madam…」

Mary was also lost.

「I know she understands what happened.」

Mother’s shoulders shook and she began to cry.

「I thought that when she grew, I could give her a lot of love and make up for it. That I would have to make up for it the rest of my life, but I can’t. And now that I know she knows my words, she must be terrified. She can’t forgive me for doing what I did! Never forget it!」

…Mother.

…sorry, but I actually forgot as well.

I was killed 108 times after all, and including attempts, that number reaches the thousands.

Almost killed in the day, then attending parties at night…

Even with the chance of getting killed again, I didn’t sweat the details.

And in the case of my mother, I’m pretty sure she was drugged by those damn Shylocks.

My grandparents sickened by you, and even Ambrosine, that concubine, saying those nasty things. My father never even comes home because he’s at your house…you must be nearly insane.

It was an accident! An unfortunate accident! You’re the victim!

「Ahh ouuhhh ohhh」

I tried to speak out! Let God show her my feelings!

「Look, she’s saying she’ll never forgive me! That was the same cry she gave when I tried to kill her! I had nightmares about this voice over and over!」

Whaaaaaa? You think I care about something like that?

Even if I ask God, I get the complete opposite of what I desire?!

Is this the curse of being an evil queen?

You’re misunderstanding, mom!

Even when you were trying to kill me, I was saying,

「…time to overcome this trial and live my life!」

I was enthusiastic about it…screaming it over and over.

「I’m such a dreadful mother…」

「Ahh ooh」

Mother…

I called out to appease my mother, but her lips were tight, her face tense, and her stare, straight ahead.

Her heart was closed. Complete depression.

I knew it well. When a woman’s like this, there’s no helping her.

I was the same way, after all. It was an expression that I inherited from her.

Mary and I looked at each other…what to do now?

What should I do?

「What the hell…」

Brad broke the awkward silence.

「Wooo?」

My body was lifted up, from Mary’s arms,

「Here. Take her.」

「Huhmm?」

He pressed me against my mother’s breast.

It felt weird, but there was no shock in her holding me.

My saddened mother, Mary, and I were stunned, but no one moved.

Hey, Bradd! You…you picked me up with one hand!

I was called the treasure of Hydrangea, and you picked me up like a handbag!

「Hold her.」

「Whaaa?」

I reached out to hold my mother, who was looking at me with wide open eyes.

「Do it!」

Brad said strongly, pushing me even deeper to my mother who was still hesitating.

Mmmh? Hey, Brad! I’m not a stuffed animal!

You have to be kind to a newborn infant!

「Madam! Please hold your daughter!」

Mary was also urging my mother.

W…what the…

Mary and Bradd stared at us with a hopeful look.

W…why are they looking at us like that.

I know! I know! You should do it!

I prepared myself. I breathed in and got ready. I flexed my stomach!

「Awoowoo wooo」

I spread my hands to her. Mama! I love you!

Please hold me!

Come on!

If you love me, do whatever! Just do it!

Give me a hug!

This is getting embarrassing…I can feel my ears getting hot.

Even though they know I’m conscious, I shouldn’t be tortured like this.

Can you understand a girl that’s died at 28 crying out, “Gimme a hug, mama?!”

And not only that, but everyone can see us.

I never had a mother in my 108 lives.

This is the first time I get a hug from a live one!

Gulp…

I’m…nervous now. There’s spit in my mouth and my spine hurts.

My mother’s hands are still open and hanging in space.

Just the pose like she’s almost about to flick me in the forehead.

H…hurry! But not too much!

They were all cheering her one, so she put her hand to my back and began drawing me slowly near.

It was awkward. Like she was holding onto a tumor or something.

「It’s okay! She’s not going to break even if you handle her rough!」

「Madam! Do your best! Don’t be afraid!」

What’s with all this weird cheering?!

Mary’s so excited that she’s snorting. She had some strange switch in her flipped on.

And here I am being treated like a bomb ready to explode.

It’s regretful.

My mother was encouraged by the two and began holding me close.

Even though she had been exercising, there wasn’t the smell or feel of sweat on her.

Pretty much no odor at all, but there was a bucolic forest-like smell that was different from Mary’s sweet scent.

I’m…embarrassed…

But the confusion doesn’t bother me and I smell it as much as I can.

It’s good…this much…no one can tell…no one can tell.

Sniff sniff sniff

「So, how does she smell?」

「Ooohhhh!」

Eeek! Bradd figured it out that I was smelling her that fast?!

With that usual blood flow crap again!?

Sorry, I was just checking her out!

Please just ignore it!

「You think that she’s cute?」

Bradd said with a grin.

Ah, I guess that shameful act wasn’t discovered…wait, Bradd!?

You’re going to say I look like a monkey again, right?

Don’t praise how I look if you’re just lying!

Just praise me!

「…she’s…cute.」

「Aoohh」

Hey, mom. I know when you’re just flattering me. It makes me feel a little sick in the stomach.

「She’s the same as him, same red eyes, same red hair. It’s not that she’s not cute…but she’s his child. But as a mother I’m not qualified…I can’t be forgiven for what I’ve done…」

But…you really think I’m cute?!

Hey, what now? I can feel myself blush.

Wait, am I a mama’s girl?