Pet King - Chapter 1131

Female Emperor of China

It wasn’t just Egypt—the entire Arabian culture didn’t have the most…fair of gender equalities.

These few men just smoked here all day, drinking their tea, playing mahjong, and leaving all of the housework to women. The worst part was that even the women thought that’s how it should be.

Well, it wasn’t quite right to say that they hadn’t been doing anything all day. They greeted the tourists that walked by, inviting them for a smoke, some tea, a round of mahjong. But the tourists couldn’t smoke their hookah for free or drink their tea for nothing, right? They had to pay for every single smoke and every drop of tea that they drank. As for mahjong… If you could win in Egyptian mahjong against Egyptians, then you must be a genius. Otherwise, you might even lose your pants.

Most locals in Egypt’s hot tourist spots felt that tourists were just chickens running across their yard, free for the taking. They had nowhere to air their grievances after they were scammed or cheated, anyway.

Tourists were rich, too. If they weren’t rich, how could they go overseas? One RMB was about three Egyptian pounds. It wasn’t too ridiculous to ask for two hundred Egyptian pounds for one smoke, right? If the tourists were blinded by their enthusiasm or smoked and drank out of curiosity, it was practically impossible to leave without paying.

These few men sat here every day, languidly eating, sleeping, and scamming tourists, but they earned a sizable income still, justifying their position of breadwinner at home.

Zhang Zian didn’t know what they were planning, but he still rejected their offers out of hygiene considerations, so they were unable to take a single penny from him.

They’d scammed other Chinese tourists as well and were not strangers to cooling ointment, but they hadn’t heard of the emperor-edition cooling oil. Their curiosity was piqued, and they put aside their plans for the moment.

After close inspection, they realised that the packaging on the cooling ointment in Zhang Zian’s hands really was different from what they usually saw. Within its usual light and subtle packaging was a different aura, and their eyes darkened with want—this was actually just because the other Chinese tourists weren’t insane enough to buy a stockpile of cooling ointment to gift to their foreign friends.

“What’s ’emperor-edition’ cooling ointment? The ointment specifically for Chinese emperors?” They cut in, asking questions in Arabic, words tumbling all over one another.

Zhang Zian didn’t understand what they were saying, but Richard did. Not just these words, but also the disgusting words that they’d been throwing around between themselves before they’d reached out to Zhang Zian. They thought that Chinese tourists were easy to bully and would take it silently even after they were bullied. They were basically walking ATMs that didn’t need a card and password to draw money from.

That was why it butted in with Arabic. “Exactly! This is the cooling oil that is exclusively for the female Emperor of China’s use! Ci Xi! Have you heard of Ci Xi? She’s pretty much the last female Emperor of China, just like your Cleopatra the Seventh!”

They didn’t know who Ci Xi was, but they understood the moment Cleopatra the Seventh was mentioned, exclaiming in surprise, “This is the oil that Ci Xi exclusively used?”

Zhang Zian didn’t understand, but to prevent himself from giving it away, all he could do was mime some random mouth shapes. These people didn’t have their attention on him anyway.

He lowered his head by chance, but sweat started bursting out on his forehead. F*ck! He hadn’t noticed this when accepting the parcel. This… This… This… This wasn’t cooling ointment at all!

When the parcel arrived, he hadn’t been at home. He might have been at the beach. Wang Qian and Li Kun were the ones who had accepted it for him, and those two idiots had signed the receipt without even checking the items. He hadn’t noticed it after he reached home either.

Only now did he realize that what was written on the packaging wasn’t “Cooling Ointment,” but instead “Cooling Oil”! F*ck, what the hell was Cooling Oil? Would it kill them if they put it on? He was lost for words, completely occupied with thinking about how to pull himself out of this situation…

“Yes! Yes! It is exclusively for her! The emperor edition of the Cooling Ointment isn’t any normal ointment… Not only does it cool you down, it will also give off a naturally minty fragrance. It even has…a special side effect!” Richard was certainly getting into it, drawing these three men in with its words.

“What… What special side effect? Is it…that kind?” The few men swallowed their saliva nervously, looking at their surroundings before asking in hushed voices.

“Um! Well, about that…I can’t say, can’t say!” Richard pretended to string them along.

“What can’t you say? We’re all men! We know! Egyptians and Chinese are good buddies! I have a cousin working in China’s capital, and my brother-in-law is studying there too! China and Egypt are friends for life!” They weren’t above lying through their teeth to get the answer.

Richard didn’t reveal the secret. Seeing that Zhang Zian still hadn’t taken any action, one of the men silently muttered under his breath, picking up a silver-coated hookah and passing it to Zhang Zian. “This is for you, to exchange for the Emperor’s Cooling Ointment’s secret!”

Zhang Zian was still panicking over the Cooling Oil, but he suddenly ended up with a hookah in his hands. He had absolutely no idea what they were doing, but seeing their expressions and tones, it didn’t seem like they were angry. Instead, it was more like they were desperate for information…

That’s why he snapped out of it, pretending to be completely at ease. If even he, a true-blue Chinese, hadn’t noticed the typo, these Arabians, who couldn’t even read Chinese, shouldn’t be able to notice it either.

He used his finger to gently flick at the silver hookah, extremely satisfied at the gorgeous low hum that it made. Glory to Pinduoduo! This pile of silver should be pretty valuable too…

Richard feigned mysteriousness, dropping its voice low, soft enough that only the four of them would be able to hear. “Alright, since we have such a great relationship, I’ll make an exception for you! It’s exactly the side effect that you think! Women can’t fight against the Emperor’s Cooling Oil at all. They’re brimming with desire the moment they smell it, easily seduced into your bed without you having to lift a finger. They’re yours to please and play with!”

The few of them had their eyes open so wide, they were at risk of having them drop out. Even though Arabic women were traditional, there were a ton of foreign tourists here! In the thousands of shops in the Khan el-Khalili Market, other than their main products, some shop owners would also sell aphrodisiacs to their loyal customers.

When these Arabian shop owners bragged to one another, they all quantified it by how many different skin-toned female tourists they had f*cked with. But female tourists weren’t that easy to seduce, even with an aphrodisiac’s help. Even if they were successful, they were usually ugly. But with the magical Emperor’s Cooling Ointment…

“Gah gah! The last female emperor of China, Ci Xi, used this Emperor’s Cooling Ointment to debut in the center position, fighting her way up and seducing the emperor to the point where he couldn’t live without her! That’s how she became emperor!”

Richard made use of the fact that they knew jack about China’s history to slightly edit Cleopatra the Seventh’s story, leading them to believe every single word of it!

China’s Magical Oil

At the mention of mysterious ancient Egypt, many Chinese people immediately spouted a series of sensational rumors, such as the curse of the pyramid, endless treasure, the resurrected mummy.

Similarly, when many Westerners mentioned China, they had many unrealistic fantasies. For example, the Chinese were all martial arts masters or table tennis masters with tied braids behind their heads, and other stereotypes.

Modern Egyptians were kind of considered Westerners, but Egypt’s economic level and urban style were basically equivalent to that of China in the 1990s or so. Few Chinese tourists went to Egypt, so their impression of ancient China was more exaggerated than what Chinese people thought of ancient Egypt.

In other countries, Richard’s trick may not have deceived people, but because of the magical impression of the cooling ointment and the fantasies of ancient China, the Egyptians really bought it!

Zhang Zian could not understand Richard’s conversation with the six Egyptian men, but he could read the greed on their faces.

But he was very troubled. How had Richard managed to make them feel greedy? Could it have been this Pinduoduo’s explosive-level cooling ointment?

Richard was chattered by Zhang Zian all the way to make sure that it could not speak without hindrance, so as not to offend the local customs. It had already been chattered by him till it was impatient. It had just so happened that those people were unjust first. Was it not wrong for him to play tricks on them?

“Since we have such an affinity and are friends, I’ll tell you another secret!” it said, pretending to be mysterious. “I’m telling you guys, besides expelling mosquitoes, clearing away heat, and relieving summer heat and indulgence, the emperor’s version of cooling ointment has an ultimate effect. I wouldn’t tell the ordinary person!”

The six Egyptian men, whose appetite had grown higher, said impatiently, “What is the ultimate effect? The friendship between China and Egypt will last forever. Let this cooling ointment be a witness to the friendship between the Chinese and Egyptian people!”

Richard saw that they were all in a hurry to start grabbing. Knowing that they could not hold back anymore because they were already very interested, he whispered, “This is started with Cixi’s husband. Do you know who Cixi’s husband is? The Emperor of China? Isn’t that obvious? Let me tell you, her husband is the Xianfeng emperor. You may feel that the name is unfamiliar, but it’s okay. You just need to know that he was a greedy emperor. This emperor of China had 72 concubines in three palaces and six courtyards and 3,000 beautiful women in the back palace. As a result, the Xianfeng emperor overindulged and the iron pestle was ground into embroidery needles. How unlucky is he to see so many beautiful girls but not be able to eat them?”

Six men showed unspoken smiles, winked, and made signs at each other.

“And after that?” they asked.

Richard continued: “Later, Cixi appeared. There are seven levels in the Chinese Imperial Palace. It took Cixi only five years to get ahead. She leaped from the fifth level to the second level. What was the reason? It was the emperor’s cooling ointment!”

The six men seemed to have understood. “Could it be…”

“That’s right! The ultimate effect of this emperor’s version of cooling oil is to solve your unspeakable hidden problems, prolong fighting time, increase the intensity of the fighting, and let you revive the male spirit!” cried Richard.

Zhang Zian mechanically copied Richard’s words with his mouth shapes. Before he could recover, he saw the big Arab men stretching out their hands hurriedly and robbing several bottles of cold oil from his hands, carrying them in their arms like treasures, and even guarding against each other vigilantly.

The f*ck?

What kind of situation was this?

Zhang Zian was shocked. His fingers had almost been bent and broken by these few people.

He was speechless for a moment, but since all the cooling oil he wanted to give out had already been given out, there was no need to stay any longer. Besides, Fina was impatient, and her anger rose one point with every minute of hunger.

“Wait, wait! Wait, wait!”

He turned and wanted to go, but he heard someone behind him murmuring to him. He thought it was the guys who had found out that this cooling ointment was not actually cooling ointment and wanted to beat him. They were just about to pull out their legs and run away. They heard Richard whisper, “Stop, you idiot!”

He could not understand, so he stopped walking.

Those few men ran over, pointed at the cooling ointment, and asked, “All the words here are Chinese, and we can’t understand. How do we use it so that we can…increase our manly power?”

Zhang Zian could not understand, and Richard answered, “Have you heard of Indian divine oil? What? Never heard of it? Well, using it is the same as Indian divine oil. Just put it there. Don’t be greedy—just a thin layer. The effect of the Chinese Emperor’s version of the cool oil is 100 times stronger than that of the Indian divine oil. That sour and good feeling…heh.”

Several men understood that it was like they’d hit the jackpot. They did not smoke cigarettes, drink black tea, or play mahjong anymore and dispersed in a hurry. They would go home or find a woman to test the effect.

Now, suddenly, Zhang Zian was left alone. He was at a loss and carrying a silver water pipe.

“You idiot! What are you doing standing here?” Richard said, patting his head with his wings. “Hurry up and run! When they come back, I’m sure your chrysanthemums will be rotated into sunflowers—if they can come back, my uncle estimates that they won’t be able to get on the ground for at least one day!”

When Zhang Zian heard it, he knew that this b*tch bird had made trouble again. He just did not know what kind of trouble.

Anyway, a wise man did not fight when the odds were against him. Even if he wanted to teach Richard a lesson, he must leave here first.

He beckoned the elfins to leave together, bypassed several alleys, and came to a relatively quiet place before he stopped to ask Richard about what had happened.

Richard talked about how it had heard that they were planning on cheating Zhang Zian because they felt that Chinese tourists would not dare to make trouble and were easy to bully, until it told them the reason why they left in a hurry.

Zhang Zian and the elfins all felt very speechless after they heard it.

Old Time Tea grinned. “The wicked have their own wicked downfall,” he said. “Richard’s actions are very good. He punished them slightly so that they could know that we are of a great country with its own capable people. Henceforth, they dare not underestimate the world! When we first met, this person always thought that their appearance was faithful but cunning, and their behavior seemed warm, but it was hypocritical. I wanted to remind you, but I was worried that the faces and actions of the people here might naturally be like that. So, I did not say much. I have bad judgment.”

The rest of the elfins all praised Richard’s ability to adjust to changing circumstances.

“Gah! My smartness and talents have finally been realized!” Richard started to jump up and down between Zhang Zian’s head and shoulders, extremely excited.

“Don’t praise it any more. Its tail is already up in the sky, can’t you see?” he said helplessly. “But anyway, we aren’t staying here for a few days. In this he vast sea of people, even if they wanted to find someone, they couldn’t find us. We can just pay more attention in the future… Now let’s find a place to eat.”