Oh My God! Earthlings are Insane! - Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Dark Witch As His Younger Sister 3
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Blessed Heavenly Garden was located at Tiger Forest Region, and it was to begin Grade Three war preparations.
Everyone had been fighting for decades, so monsters attacking the city was something normal for them.
The old men and old ladies still went to the field and nonchalantly practiced ancient martial arts.
The children flung around polished monster skulls and ran around the elderly as they played a game of Earthlings beating up monsters.
Some of the middle school students who had finished school earlier started talking nonsense, since they had nothing to do. They talked about whether Dragon City should gather up all its resources to develop a transmigration skill so that they could return to Earth.
“Big Brother!”
Meng Chao moved past the field when he heard his name being called. 2
He turned his head around and saw a girl dressed in a middle school student’s uniform. She was dragging behind her a large and heavy metal bucket, which made her look like a diligent ant dragging food that was several times bigger than her.
The girl was very adorable. She was like a flower bud that was about to bloom. 4
Her eyes were crinkled in amusement, which gave her a mischievous air.
Her uniform was a size too large, so she appeared petite and adorable.
She jumped about and waved her hand. “Hurry up and help me! I’m seriously tired!”
“Okay.” Meng Chao felt a little dazed as he walked to his younger sister, Bai Jiacao. 5
When he saw the petite and pretty face which had not fully grown, his head hurt.
It was as if there was a red hot steel needle poking into it and stimulating the deepest parts of his mind so it could release crystalline memory shards. 1
The girl’s glossy, long, and black hair turned into burning purple hair. Her crystal-like black eyes shone with an enchanting light, and she had a pair of huge wings that were covered in blood vessels. She looked like a demon that came out of the depths of a blood-soaked hell.
A mysterious and evil smile played on her lips. She was beautiful, just like the girls in portraits painted in thick and heavy colors. It was enough to terrify half of the living from the Other World to the point that their hearts shattered. 1
She was the Dark Witch. 2
Wherever she went, she brought about eternal darkness. 1
“Big Brother? Hehe…”
Meng Chao could see before his eyes when his younger sister had stomped on him in the distant future after she became the Dark Witch. At that time, she had smiled coldly and mysteriously. 3
Meng Chao was absolutely baffled.
‘I didn’t expect that you would be this sort of younger sister!’
“Big Brother, what’s wrong?” She swung her hand in front of him with puzzlement. “You look like a rat who saw a cat.”
“No, it’s nothing. What’s this? It’s seriously heavy.”
“Sigh, it’s Dad’s fault. He heard that the army took down an Iron Armored Rhinoceros’ nest, and he quickly went to line up at the supply and marketing department. He actually managed to buy a huge bucket of beef. He said that it was much cheaper than the ones at the market, but it’s just too heavy!” The girl pouted.
“Where’s Dad? Why is he asking you to carry the bucket on your own?”
“Dad is lining up a second time at the supply and marketing department. He wants to see whether there will be any rhinoceros bone marrow, so I had to drag this back. Hehe, I’m great, aren’t I?” 1
The girl placed her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest. Pride shone in her eyes. 3
“Let go. Let me do it.”
“Let’s carry it together. You were injured. Dad and Mom said that you’re not supposed to do heavy manual work.”
“This isn’t heavy manual work. Let go. Be careful not to let the bucket hit your feet. Help me carry my bag.”
Meng Chao bent down. His shoulders sank, and he hefted the entire bucket of Iron Armored Rhinoceros meat.
Bai Jiacao sighed in relief and rubbed her incredibly numb arms and legs.
But she also felt a little nervous. She carefully observed her big brother’s footsteps and posture, worried that he would injure himself again.
Meng Chao felt his eyelids twitch.
He was a little overwhelmed by such care from the Dark Witch, who would bring harm to all of the Other World in the future. 2
When he thought of this, he suddenly stopped moving.
“Ack!”
Bai Jiacao did not stop in time and knocked into her brother’s back. She rubbed her nose and let out a displeased cry.
Meng Chao turned around with a strange look in his eyes.
“Big Brother, what’s wrong?” Bai Jiacao felt her skin crawl.
“Let me ask you something. Is there something about me that displeases you?”
“No way! Big Brother, why should I be displeased with you?”‘What nonsense! Of course I am displeased! You’re horrid, stupid Big Brother!’ 1
“Am I usually bad to you? Do I bully you often?”
“Of course not. You’re the best to me. You never bully me.”‘Of course you’re bad. You bully me every single day. You’re a demon! How could you be shameless enough to ask me such a question?!’
“If, I’m just saying if, one day, you obtained great power, would you stomp on me?”
“Oh my God, my beloved Big Brother, what on Earth are you thinking? Why would I want to stomp on you? Would I be that brutal?”‘Hehe, you guessed it! If I became strong one day, the first thing I’d do would be to stomp on you, you evil Big Brother! I’ll stomp on you with all my strength! And I’d do it several times! Ohohohoho!’ 3
Bai Jiacao tried her best to control her facial expression.
But when she thought about how she could turn the tides, become someone superior, and stomp on her bully of a big brother happily after she finally broke free of being suppressed, she… simply could not control herself!
Meng Chao narrowed his eyes.
He suddenly extended his evil claws (hand) and placed it on his younger sister’s head to ruffle her hair as. Much. As. He. Wanted.
“Big Brother, did I offend you again?! Why are you bullying me again?!”
Bai Jiacao was livid and anxious. Her face puffed up and turned red.
“A big brother needs no reason to bully his younger sister.” 3
Meng Chao was absolutely pleased with himself. ‘Well, it’s your fault for stomping on me after you turned into the Dark Witch.
‘Since I can still defeat you right now, I’ll just have my fill of toying with you first.’ 3
Speaking of which, since he returned from that nightmare, he would definitely not allow any sort of misfortune to fall upon his family.
‘Sis, I won’t let you turn into the Dark Witch feared by all. You should be the most blessed, beautiful, and loved princess in the whole city—no, the whole Other World!’ 7
As Meng Chao thought about this, he messed up the little princess’ hair even more.
Soon, they reached Unit 3, Block 19, Blessed Heavenly Garden.
Since there was a shortage of electricity and monsters were attacking them, buildings seldom installed elevators.
The adults were used to scaling walls and getting into their houses through the windows. 3
Teenagers took the stairs, but it did not use up much of their energy.
Meng Chao and Bai Jiacao pulled and pushed the bucket with Iron Armored Rhinoceros meat until they brought it to door number 704.
A plate that read [FAMILY WITH FIVE OUTSTANDING VIRTUES] was nailed to an alloy door with its paint peeled off.
Under the plate were sixty-five skulls with deformed long horns spray painted on it. There was a red cross over each skull.
This meant that this family had killed sixty-five monsters.
It was a familiar scene, but unfamiliar at the same time. It caused Meng Chao’s eyes to sting.
He had grown up in a normal family.
Seventeen years ago, during a monster attack on the city, a retired soldier Meng Yishan had heard a baby’s cries in some ruins. 2
He summoned all his courage to save the survivors and not only did he manage to save the baby, he also managed to find a teenage girl whose legs were reduced to a bloody mess in the depths of the ruins.
The girl was badly injured. Meng Yishan took care of her meticulously, and both of them fell in love.
The baby was their matchmaker. It had lost its parents during the monster attack, so they chose to take care of it.
That baby was Meng Chao.
Even though they were not related to each other by blood, his adopted parents still treated him like their own flesh and blood. 7
Even after Bai Jiacao, the product of their life, was born, their love for him did not change.
In his nightmare, their family of four lived a simple and happy life for twenty years before it came to an abrupt end in chaos.
Once Meng Chao returned from that nightmare, he made a decision to protect everything until eternity.
“Mom, I’m back!”
He had a key in his pocket, but he could not resist shouting.
The narrow but clean apartment was as hot as a food steamer.
Their tiny living room was squashed together with an open kitchen. Bai Suxin, who suffered from leg disabilities, was sweating bullets in front of the stove.
When she saw her children come home, she was filled with joy. The wrinkles on her face smoothed out.
“Aren’t your noses good? You came back just in time.”
Bai Suxin brought out a plate of golden food. “Eat the spring rolls while they’re hot. The filling is made of Nine-eyed Fish meat. They’re a new bread that has just mutated. Since no one has ever seen it, not many people dare to eat it. It’s sold cheap, so I bought a lot of it. If it tastes good, I’ll make more of it in the future.” 3
“Mom!”
Meng Chao sucked in a deep breath and took the spring rolls his mom made with trembling fingers. He nibbled at it and paid extra attention to the taste.
‘So fragrant. The meat is sweet.’
It was a sweetness he had not tasted in years.
“You silly boy, you’re just eating spring rolls, so why are you crying?”
Bai Suxin looked at Meng Chao, then at Bai Jiacao.
Bai Jiacao pulled a funny face and tapped her own temple. She gestured at her mother. ‘Big Brother lost a few screws in his head today!’
A thought appeared in Meng Chao’s head. The memory shards in his mind sparkled, and he was eager to try something out. “Mom, Young Cao, go and rest in the apartment. I’ll make dinner tonight.”
“You know how to cook?” Bai Suxin was surprised and moved, but she waved her hand and said, “Just rest. You’re tired from school. I’ll be done after I stir-fry some pork liver. Keep an ear out to the door. Your dad just called and said he bought rhinoceros bone marrow.”
“It’s fine. I’m tired from studying, so I’ll just cook a few dishes to change my mindset a little.”
Meng Chao did not listen to protests. He removed Bai Suxin’s apron and tied it around himself before he picked up a knife and brandished it. He seemed very familiar with it.
“Chao’er, you’ve grown up,” Bai Suxin said with a smile.
“Big Brother, are you sure you’ll be okay? Pork livers from Demonic Halberd Pigs are very difficult to handle. If you’re the slightest bit careless, it’ll end up smelling rank, and it’ll stink.” Bai Jiacao refused to believe him.
Her stupid brother could only cook instant noodles or boil dumplings. Making fried eggs was his absolute limit.
The procedure to make pork liver from Demonic Halberd Pigs tasty was extremely complicated. Even housewives found it difficult to make it taste good.
“I’ll do it. Move, you stupid oaf of a big brother.”
The girl walked over habitually.
Usually, when her mother suffered from pain in her legs, she would cook.
But before she could take the knife from Meng Chao’s hands, it turned into a ray of silver light. 3