Oh My God! Earthlings are Insane! - Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Meng Chao’s Skill
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

“Uncle Zhang, Uncle Luo, Big Brother Luo.”
Meng Chao recalled all of the familiar faces.
In his previous life, together with his father, these honest and kind seniors had taught him a lot.
“A’chao, you’re here too?” Everyone nodded at him in an unsurprised manner. “Learn properly with your father. You’ll have a good future as a harvester.”
“Where is Big Brother Shen?” Meng Yishan asked. Then, he turned around and explained to his son, “Big Brother Shen is the leader of the company. He decides whether you can become a harvester. Be smart later… No, I mean, be good later.”
“Big Brother Shen is enjoying the air conditioning over there. Mr. Hu killed a Grade Three monster today, and Big Brother Shen is in a good mood. Take A’chao to him and say a few good words. He’ll definitely be able to get in.”
The director of Prosperous Resource Recovery Room was Shen Rongfa. He was a man with a small, square face and huge nostrils.
He did not need to take action by himself, but he wore a medical mask that provided the greatest filtration, and he even wore three sets of protective clothes.
He was short and fat to boot, so it was no wonder why he was drenched in sweat and had to stay in the refrigerated truck that stored the monster materials to enjoy the air conditioning.
“Old Meng, last time, you mentioned that if your son didn’t manage to get into college, he would want to join our company. But why did I hear that he was injured?” he asked with ill intent. 3
“He was mildly injured last year, but he’s fine now. The boy has had a pair of deft hands since he was young. I’ll teach him personally, and in less than two years, he’ll definitely become a skilled harvester.” Meng Yishan bent his back and smiled in a very humble manner. “Big Brother Meng, please help us.”
Shen Rongfa did not show his attitude. “Well, I’d like to help as much as I can, but I’m not the one who opened the company. I won’t be able explain things to my brother-in-law when it comes to your son’s situation…”
“I understand. That’s why I can only come to you for help.”
Meng Yishan’s head was almost touching the ground now. He held Shen Rongfa’s hand and pushed it back to Shen Rongfa gently.
Meng Chao was very observant, and he saw his father stuffing a store card into Shen Rongfa’s hands.
Colorful pictures of monsters could be seen on the store card, and he guessed it was the consumer card for Golden Dragon Trade City.
It was a very high-class city mall in Dragon City. It sold rare and raw materials from monsters. The minimum top up rate for member consumer cards was ten thousand.
In his previous life, Meng Chao had not known how he got the harvester job.
His father was usually reluctant to even smoke half of a good cigarette, and when his underwear or pants were torn, he would just sew it back and make do with it for a few more years, but he had actually stored up money that was worth ten thousand?
Meng Chao narrowed his eyes and started thinking carefully.
‘Should I wait until the moon is dim and the wind is strong to put a gunny bag over Shen Rongfa’s head and snatch the card back?’ 6
When the store card appeared in his hand, Shen Rongfa laughed so much that his fat started jiggling. He used his wet and hot hand to smack Meng Yishan’s shoulder. “Alright, since your harvesting team is only attached to the company, you can bring whoever you want as your disciple, and it will have nothing to do with the company.
“I just have one condition: don’t cause trouble. I don’t care if you cause me trouble, but it’ll be bad if you make my brother-in-law vexed, don’t you think?”
“Got it. We won’t cause you or Mr. Hu any trouble.” Meng Yishan quickly nodded and turned around to tug at his son. “A’chao, thank Uncle Shen, quick.”
Meng Chao sucked in a deep breath. He moved up and said, “Thank you, Manager Shen.”
“Whatever.” Shen Rongfa waved his hand impatiently. “Enough with the chit-chat. Hurry up and get to work!”
He patted his butt and went back to the refrigerated truck to rest.
“Off to work!”
The harvesters checked their masks and protective clothing one last time.
They prepared metal pliers, scalpels, washing liquid dispensers, adzes, chisels, axes, saws, and all sorts of tools that could help them cut a monster into pieces.
“A’chao, you’re not to offend Manager Shen.”
Meng Yishan noticed how hostile his son had sounded, so when he helped Meng Chao into his gear, he whispered softly to him.
Meng Chao was quiet. For some reason, when he saw Shen Rongfa, he was filled with anger and even hate. The negative emotions he had toward him were even stronger than for Zuo Haoran.
‘I think… this guy made Dad’s life really miserable in my previous life.’ The sudden thought slightly surprised him.
He thought about it for a moment before he decided to get straight to the point. “Dad, you’ve been a harvester for more than ten years. Everyone acknowledges you as their leader, so why do you insist on working for Prosperous? Can’t you set up your own company?”
Regardless of whether Shen Rongfa was a good or a bad man, since Meng Chao returned from his nightmare, there should be no reason for him to depend on someone else for a living.
He should build his own faction of power and get stronger step by step. It was only then that he could control his own fate.
“Seriously, this is what a child would say. It’s not that easy to open a company.” Meng Yishan sighed.
He had been in the business for many years, and he had thought about building his own company before.
But opening a company required initial capital. The living costs of the Meng family were very high, and every month, they could not make ends meet. He did not have that much money to spare.
Besides, the most important thing to a harvester was not the skills, but connections.
Only with connections to the strong could they get sources for carcasses.
Meng Yishan did not like Shen Rongfa because he could end up harvesting the most common Demonic Halberd Pig until it was a complete mess.
But his brother-in-law Qin Hu was a superhuman. His team called Frenzied Saber Squad was also rather famous. Every time the fog descended, they could kill a lot of monsters and Shen Rongfa would get to handle them.
Many of the harvesting teams could not find carcasses to harvest, so they could only work under Prosperous and bear with Shen Rongfa exploiting them.
Meng Yishan’s harvesting team did not know any powerful people. If they really chose to work on their own, they could only work for the military.
But the military used a lot of firepower to kill monsters, and the monsters were often scorched by flames. Not only would they be dirty and smelly, the harvesters could not get a lot of useful resources from them.
If that wasn’t enough, the military was giving out less and less jobs. After all, they were running out of monsters to fight.
Meng Yishan did not know how he should explain all of that to his son, who was not familiar with the ways of the world. He could only say, “Just endure it for two years. Once you become familiar with the trade and your sister enters the college, we can talk about it again. I won’t make you suffer this all of your life.”
“Dad, have you ever thought about the possibility of the number of monsters increasing again?” Meng Chao asked with an intense look in his eyes.
Meng Yishan was stunned. “What do you mean?”
Meng Chao opened his mouth and started rambling. “This is something our biology teacher mentioned. Over the past decade or so, the monsters have been reducing in number, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re really afraid of us. There’s a possibility that the monsters might be hibernating or evolving.
“If that is true, once all the monsters complete their evolution, they will appear in front of us in larger numbers, and they’ll be even more violent than the ones now.”
“There’s this possibility?”
Meng Yishan was shocked. He was not very educated and instinctively believed the teachers of a key high school. “Which teacher was it? Have I met him or her before during the parent-teacher meeting?”
“He’s a famous teacher from another school who came over for short-term training in our school. I went for a special interest class and heard him speak. If monsters do increase in number, we won’t need to worry about not having enough carcasses, right?” Meng Chao asked.
“Um…” Meng Yishan was hesitant.
“Today, didn’t our district manage to fight off the monsters?” Meng Chao said anxiously. “Dad, this is a threat, but also a fortuitous event. If we want to build up our family fortune and shoot up the social ladder in one go, we must seize this chance!”
His son was always Meng Yishan’s greatest pride and joy.
Once Meng Chao got into a key high school, he always brought back convincing theories and his parents became unable to win an argument against him.
Meng Yishan knew Shen Rongfa’s character. If it were not because he had no other way, he would not wish for his son to work for the stingy bastard.
However, if he wanted to open a company, he needed capital, connections, and skills. The graying middle-aged man was a little troubled by this.
“Let’s work first. We’ll talk about it later. Come here, we’ll teach you how to harvest monsters.”
The main attacking force of the monsters before them was made up of armored-type monsters.
Aside from the Flaming Black Beetles they saw at Blessed Heavenly Garden, there was also a large number of arachnid monsters, but the main monsters were Giant Yellow-patterned Tail Scorpions.
This sort of monster was about 1.2 m long.
Its two front limbs were huge. They were shaped like crab pincers and full of fine meat.
The arachnid’s hard shell was made of chitin, and it could be used as an armor. It could also be ground into powder and refined into unique alloy.
The sticky liquid in its body could be used as fertilizer for farms or to rear gigantified earthworms and provide Dragon Citizens with a sufficient amount of protein.
The large, faint, golden scorpion tail contained precious poisonous liquid. It could be refined into cell activation liquid and gene medicine. A small amount of poison would stimulate a person’s immune system to evolve and activate the supernatural abilities lying deep in their genes.
The scorpions also possessed an incredibly sturdy poisonous needle. If it was carefully polished and carved with runes, it could be combined with a heavy anti-material sniper rifle as the best sniping bullet. Aside from piercing through armor, it also contained the “corrosion” and “poison” effects.
“Young Chao, you’ve never seen so many monsters before, right? Isn’t it exciting?”
“This is called a Giant Yellow-patterned Tail Scorpion. It looks rather terrifying, but it’s already dead. It’s fine, come and touch it. There are plenty of us here, so there’s no way we’ll let you get hurt.”
“Look, this pincer is still moving. Hahahaha! Scared you, didn’t it? Actually, it’s a response from its nerve cord being stimulated. It’s very normal.”
The harvesters were all not very educated people, and they had no filter when they spoke, but they were good people. They truly cared about Meng Chao like their own son.
“Thanks, uncles.” Meng Chao forcefully kept his mouth from twitching. He kept a very low profile.
Hundreds of monster structures that were much more complicated than the Giant Yellow-patterned Tail Scorpion were in his mind.
His fingertips trembled from eagerness to dissect the creature before him.
“A’chao, look carefully.”
Meng Yishan and his harvesters worked well in a group. With just a few movements, they managed to fully dispose of the Giant Yellow-patterned Tail Scorpion.
To take care of Meng Chao, they slowed down a little. Every time they harvested a part, they would explain what they were doing in detail.
“Alright, it’s your turn.”
When it was time to harvest the next Giant Yellow-patterned Tail Scorpion, Meng Yishan wanted to see whether Meng Chao was talented in this. “Your school has a special interest class for dissecting monsters, right? You should have used these tools before, yes? Don’t be afraid. They’re not very valuable items, so just use them. If you damage the creature, we can rectify your mistakes.”
“Okay.” Meng Chao put a Heart Clearing Antidote into a filter of the mask.
He lifted a scalpel and shell plier. Then, he went to the operating spot to the right of the Giant Yellow-patterned Tail Scorpion.
Naturally, the countless experiences he had harvesting similar monsters in his previous life appeared in his mind.
For his first slice, he cut into the gap of the shell between its head and shoulder at an angle of twenty-five degrees.
The tips of his fingers trembled slightly, and he changed the direction of his scalpel. He separated the central nervous cord perfectly and put it in a nerve cell activation solution with a density of 37% to keep it fresh.
For his second cut, he used the best armor-breaking saber to cut off its two front limbs before he switched to an 18 cm-long hilt which curved downwards. Then, he added a No.34 butterfly knife blade to the hilt.
The used the curve of the knife to separate the flesh and the shell in the plier. Next, he used a vacuum suction device to suck it gently, and the scorpion meat that shuddered like tofu landed in the vacuum container.
For his third cut, he switched to a No.11 blade. He used the reverse picking style [1] and first picked out the thin shell sinew before he had the knife enter deep into the shell. It was as if the sturdy chitin shell was nothing. He separated what was inside its chest before he used the vacuum suction device to suck all the valuable sticky liquid inside until there was nothing left.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
When Meng Chao used the knife, the sound was like the pitter pattering of rain in spring. It fell quietly on all that was on Earth and provided moisture to all that were living.
Translator’s Note:
[1] Reverse picking method: positions the blade in such a manner where the surgeon could pick the flesh from the inside. It’s kind of strange, because this grip is only in the Chinese medical world. I can’t seem to find any records of this grip in the Western medical world.