Never Saved You - Chapter 40

Chapter 40

With her red hair splayed across the white blanket, she resembled the sunset.

Especially with how she seemed like an ephemeral existence beside him.

Alei finished calculating the coordinates about an hour ago. The calculation took some time to complete, but it took just a fraction of that time to send the coordinates to its recipient.

But here he still was.

“Alei, what time do you think you’ll sleep tonight?”

Ophelia had asked him this question when he was about to leave after he finished his work.

Even if he tried to sleep, he didn’t think that he could—his mind would only be preoccupied with thoughts of Ophelia. So, Alei replied casually.

“I don’t think I’d be able to fall asleep until dawn.”

And at this, Ophelia gave a rare, delighted expression.

“Can you do me one favor? It won’t be anything difficult.”

“I don’t think there’d be a more difficult request than you asked of me just now, so let me listen and I’ll decide if I’ll do it.”

“Then… Can you stay with me in my room tonight?”

Alei couldn’t believe his ears. Ophelia’s offhand tone just now made it seem like she was only asking him to have a meal together with her.

Somehow, this question made it feel like Alei’s heart had dropped down about a handspan.

He couldn’t stop a small grimace, but other than this, Alei was good at managing his facial expressions.

And in turn, he also asked back in a nonchalant manner.

“Just as you said, it won’t be difficult. But may I ask why?”

“I think I’ll have a nightmare tonight.”

“How could you predict that?”

“I know myself the best.”

Ophelia averted her gaze. Exposed under the night air, she swept a hand over her bare arms and continued.

“I had a nightmare last night as well. And tonight will be the same. So if it’s alright with you, while you’re in the same room—”

“While I’m in the same room, you want me to wake you up if I feel like you’re having a nightmare?”

“Yes. It’s also alright if you can’t wake me up. You can just stay there.”

Ophelia said that she was afraid of being alone if she were to wake up from a nightmare.

Usually, it would be that waking up from nightmares would bring comfort just by the fact that one could return to reality.

But with her being more afraid of waking up from a nightmare… It meant that her reality felt more like hell compared to those nightmares.

Alei recalled Ophelia’s unstable demeanor.

As long as it was like this, Alei could never refuse her.

“I’ll be asking a steep price in return.”

“As much as you want.”

And so Alei stayed in Ophelia’s room with her.

Ophelia thought that Alei would spend time doing some research on magic while she slept.

—If you don’t have enough ink, you can use mine.

She said that as she was already half-asleep, but in a situation like this, he wouldn’t be able to use his hands dexterously.

Using the excuse of watching over a sleeping person, Alei stayed closeby, sitting on a chair next to her bed.

A person in deep sleep and a person who had died were similar in appearance. This was why when he saw her like that, it felt like he was submerged in the depths of the sea.

However, the most similar feeling to this was perhaps the first memory Alei had.

When he opened his eyes, he saw an unknown forest surrounding him, the shadow of those trees underneath the moonlight like a dim blanket.

It was like he had sailed a small boat in the vast open sea.

The moment he opened his eyes, he felt only a series of confusion.

The forest, the trees. The rustling of animals that sometimes passed by. Those sounds that surrounded Alei frightened him along with the unknown that he was facing.

And it was nighttime. Without any time to think about who he was, he just thought that he should go to a place where other people were.

With a metallic smell that was like rotten moss, a different scent lingered on the tip of his nose that was unlike the smell of the damp soil soaked with evening dew.

Perhaps realizing this, Alei left that place in a hurry.

He went towards a high place to know where exactly he should go, and he moved recklessly towards light.

Of course, his movements involved magic.

From the moment he opened his eyes, his limbs naturally wielded magic.

Just as others used their legs to walk, like flowing water, the idea came to him that he could use magic in order to move.

However, was it because this forest was wide?

Or was it because he couldn’t stop getting lost even as he tried to find his way?

It wasn’t until he almost ran out of mana that Alei arrived in a nearby city.

Sunrise was approaching.

This was Alei’s first memory—his first fear.

Being thrown into the unknown.

As time passed, there were things that he learned gradually while living amidst civilization, but in the middle of that forest, Alei himself didn’t know anything by himself.

He didn’t even know how he came to use magic, nor did he know what it was called.

—You’re here to apply as an imperial mage? What’s your name?

—A… Alei. My name is Alei.

Everything he knew right now was accumulated through experience.

Staying amongst society wasn’t any different from having an abundance of information being thrown at him.

After entering the city, Alei realized that the language they were using, a language spoken in the Milescet Empire, wasn’t his mother tongue.

When he learned that he was in Milescet, he found out that the forest that he had crossed that night was the forest between Milescet and the Eastern Allied Nations. Apart from that, he also realized that he was using magic that ordinary people couldn’t use.

Like flashes of light sparking one after another, that’s how some of his memories returned.

His experience and his body’s habits were what gave him information.

But if he stayed in that forest, would he have ever had a chance to reflect on these experiences?

He might have continued wandering through that dark forest without even realizing his own name.

The unknown was something that Alei feared. It was a more merciless experience than he thought, opening his eyes in that forest without knowing anything—and what he saw in the world didn’t always give him the chance to experience things.

‘Ophelia.’

With his back to the dawn’s light, Alei glanced down, staring quietly at the person who confuses him so.

He dwelled on her name. It tasted like rainwater.

And that taste was too bland for the name of the person who confused him and frustrated him every time.

‘If that was all, it would be better.’

His feelings for Ophelia were intertwined with fear.

After going through it once, he knew how to deal with it a second time. But it was still frightening to face it all the same.

It felt like he wouldn’t be able to come back after experiencing it.

He wanted to run away. How great it would be if he could abandon everything that threw his mind into chaos.

‘Only when it’s experienced would it be understood.’

Just the same as when one would know what’s inside the blue waters only when they’ve been immersed in it, he’d come to understand only after he had gone through this experience.

The fact that it was terrifying and desolate scared him, so it wasn’t just the unknown.

Alei stayed by Ophelia’s side for a long time.

—Before you leave, wake me up.

She said this before she fell asleep, and he was here, making excuses to himself about keeping his promise to Ophelia.

As he was thinking about how his long, sleepless nights finally helped him, that’s when he heard it.

Knock, knock.

There was someone outside the door.

“Ophelia, are you inside?”

It was strange.

Ophelia was a princess, and the only other one who called her that way was Sante, who wasn’t restricted by human conventions of propriety.

‘Then is it Sante?’

However, wouldn’t a siren with wings just knock on the balcony window? And he wasn’t someone who’d stand behind the door, knocking while waiting earnestly for it to be opened.

And even if it wasn’t Sante, Alei didn’t like the fact that someone was visiting Ophelia at such an early hour.

Alei chose to be silent. If he’d leave it alone, that person would just leave.

However, Alei’s expectations proved to be wrong.

Even though there was no answer, the presence behind the door kept lingering there as though that person had no intention of retreating.

He knocked again to confirm that Ophelia really wasn’t inside.

‘At this rate, she’s going to wake up.’

The door was of course locked, but Alei didn’t want to disturb Ophelia as she was in deep sleep. It annoyed him.

Eventually, after mulling it over, Alei stood up from his seat.

He placed a soundproof barrier around Ophelia’s bed. Then, he opened the door.

“What’s your business here?”

“…That’s what I’d like to ask.”

Standing at the other side of the door was a human being from whom Alei couldn’t feel any magic.

But somehow, he felt a violent, storm-like energy hovering around the man.

Black hair. Silver eyes, glaring ferociously.

It was the first time Alei saw his eyes, but the man’s face was familiar.

“Why are you inside Ophelia’s room?”

He was the man Ophelia had saved yesterday.