I Might Be A Fake Cultivator - Chapter 1026
Chapter 1026: Wedding Night
Everyone looked on with envy and admiration as Xiao Chou and Bai Yao left hand in hand with each other.
“Big Brother Chou has become the biggest winner in our beast pet team, woof!” Da Bai sighed with emotion.
“Not just the beast pet team, he is the biggest winner among my beast pet team, slave team, disciple team, and even myself!” An Lin was feeling quite distraught. What was it like to be jealous of your beast pet for getting some action in the bedroom?
“Not just Student An Lin’s beast pet, slave team, and disciple team, he is the biggest winner in our entire Four Nine Immortal Sect!” Tang Ximen’s blood was burning from envy. He would have no regrets in life if he could marry such a gorgeous wife.
Xiao Hong wobbled her flowery head as she spoke in her sweet voice, “What’s so good about getting married? We should all learn to embrace the sun! Praise the sun! The sun is justice and the sun is happiness!”
“What’s so good about marriage? Is it as fun as creating a world?” Tina chimed in.
An Lin chuckled lightly. You two don’t know sh*t!
He couldn’t be bothered to explain the magic of love to his two beast pets, so he paid attention to the performance on the stage instead.
In contrast, Da Bai was staring in the direction Xiao Chou and Bai Yao had departed toward, seemingly in a daze.
He suddenly said, “Strip away your pink underwear and reveal your delectable body. Your snowy white peaks give off an irresistible aroma…”
Everyone turned toward Da Bai with shock on their faces, as if they were looking at a perverted freak. No one expected Da Bai to say something like this in public!
Da Bai continued, “So many people are hungry for you and lust for you. I have been entranced by you since birth, my dear peanut!”
He split open a peanut shell and stripped away its pink underwear as he spoke.
“Delicious, woof!”
Everyone: “…”
What the f*ck?! He was talking about peanuts this entire time?
An Lin slowly sheathed his sword while Liu Qianhuan silently put away her six-feathered staff.
Everyone else also averted their eyes with an awkward expression. They were itching to bash Da Bai, but they had no reason to do so as Da Bai hadn’t said anything wrong. It was their fault for their dirty minds!
They had all been played…
An Lin silently turned his eyes toward the dancers on the stage.
On the stage, beautiful vixens of all types of different styles flaunted their delectable bodies as they danced, and it was as if their seductive eyes suck the soul out of the onlooker’s body.
The Fox Tribe’s pursuit of beauty was not only limited to human beauty standards. There were countless different styles, which even catered to the likes of rock golems, plant people, and pan-fried cake monsters.
An Lin turned to look at a vixen dancing for a pan-fried cake, and he found that to be quite visually appealing.
Of course, the Fox Tribe was not going to forget about their female audience.
There was a group of extremely handsome men singing and dancing, as well as showing off tricks with spell techniques, which had their female audience screaming at the top of their lungs.
Thankfully, the women of the Four Nine Immortal Sect were much more subdued and reserved. Perhaps this was due to the fact that they were desensitized from seeing Big Brother Cheng all the time.
“Have some fruit, Master.” Ye Ling peeled a piece of fruit with her little soft hands before offering the flesh of the fruit to An Lin.
An Lin opened his mouth to accept the fruit before savoring it carefully.
So sweet!
He had only just recovered from life-threatening injuries, so he should try and avoid all types of physical activities. As such, he was justified in enjoying the fruits of his disciple’s labors.
Sure enough, having a little loli as a disciple was much better than having a normal disciple!
Look at Xiao Ze! He was staring at the stage the whole time, and the last thing on his mind was feeding his master!
A joyful smile appeared on Ye Ling’s adorable face at the sight of An Lin enjoying the fruit, and she continued to feed him as a sense of accomplishment welled up in her heart. Not only was she peeling fruits, but she was also peeling peanuts, sunflower seeds…
Xu Xiaolan surveyed this scene and couldn’t shake the feeling that this master and disciple pair were too close and intimate with one another.
Furthermore… she had a strange feeling in her heart, as if something was amiss.
She soon came to a sudden realization.
Shouldn’t the job of feeding him be left to his dao partner-to-be?
Xu Xiaolan looked at An Lin and Ye Ling with a slightly disgruntled expression, feeling as if An Lin had been stolen away from her by a little girl…
After getting an eyeful of the performance on stage, An Lin turned his attention to the storage ring in his hand.
“What better time than on this joyous occasion to see what is in the storage ring of the top dog of the Black Fox Tribe, Chen Hao?”
A faint smile appeared on his face as he refined the storage ring.
He was first greeted by the sight of two hundred and thirty vital stones, which equated to two million three hundred thousand spirit stones.
After a rough calculation, he discovered that his liquid assets amounted to close to seventy million spirit stones. He was getting closer and closer to his target of a hundred million spirit stones.
There were also about a dozen high-rank spirit pills and spirit fruits, which exuded powerful energy fluctuations within the storage ring.
There were also three regenerative fifth-grade immortal fruits, Sixfold Green Vital Fruits, which could prove to be quite useful in the future.
There weren’t many immortal pills. In fact, there was only one, but this one immortal pill was a second-grade immortal pill!
An Lin was extremely excited to see this, and he immediately unleashed his Divine Inspection Technique.
[Dark Phoenix Dead Spirit Pill: A second-grade immortal pill refined with the bone marrow of the mythological beast Dark Phoenix as the main ingredient. Consumption of the pill can enhance the consumer’s divine sense, help them absorb the power of the Dark Black Flames, as well as provide a chance for the consumer to attain the dao of the Dark Phoenix.]
He hesitated momentarily before deciding to take this pill after making a full recovery.
After that, he continued to rummage through the storage ring. There were three high-rank spirit tools, as well as a bunch of other miscellaneous materials and ingredients, but there was nothing else noteworthy to him.
“A Return to Void Final Stage mighty figure doesn’t even have an immortal tool?” An Lin was a little exasperated.
However, a strange box then attracted his attention.
He pulled out the box, but he couldn’t find a way to open it.
“That’s strange, how do I open this thing?”
An Lin fell silent as he looked at the smooth, cuboid box that appeared to be made from wood.
His eyes turned snowy white as he activated his Divine Inspection Technique!
A string of information instantly appeared in his mind.
[A wooden puzzle box for storing items. People with no IQ would not be able to open it.]
An Lin: “…”
Was that an insult? That had to be an insult, right?!
The veins on An Lin’s forehead began to bulge. “I’m opening you today by hook or by crook!”
…
Elsewhere, in a serene paradise completely isolated from the commotion and festivities.
A pleasant breeze blew through the air as a monkey and a fox sat side by side while looking up at the stars and the moon.
Xiao Chou and Bai Yao engaged in a traditional exchange of cups of wine between the bride and the groom before laying down on a bed together.
“Little Yao, we’re finally husband and wife.” An ugly smile appeared on Xiao Chou’s face.
Bai Yao lowered her head with embarrassment, but a joyous smile crept onto her face. This combination of embarrassment and irrepressible joy lit up her exquisitely beautiful features, and just this sight alone would be enough to woo countless male foxes.
However, a woman of such indescribable beauty was being held in the arms of an indescribably hideous monkey.
This was their wedding night, and it was the pinnacle of Xiao Chou’s life.
Their shadows flickered under the candlelight as they entrusted themselves with one another.
The two of them slowly approached each other, and their lips met in a passionate embrace…
What followed next was a sequence of events unsuitable for younger audiences.
…
