51.The Struggle of the Athletic Dullard (Part 1)

“Hmmm…close… very close but…”

“It’s an improvement, though…

Me and Natsuhashi-san sat down on the grass in the park and took a break.

I took up catching practice again with renewed enthusiasm, taking into account the advice of Uchihashi, and the results were indeed positive.

I was able to get a better start on the flying ball, and I was able to take my glove out at the right time and get used to figuring out the trajectory of the ball.

But there were many times when the ball hit the glove but bounced right off, or when I thought I caught it but it fell out of my hand.

“Damn… it doesn’t work that way, does it? It’s sad that I can’t do what everyone else can do for no reason…”

It’s something everyone can do, so when you fail to do it, people will wonder, ‘Why are you dropping it? In some cases, there will be people who will say, “You’re not taking this seriously!”

“Well, well, I’m a little relieved, aren’t I? I’m a little relieved to hear that even Nihama-kun, who was active in the school festival and got the highest score on the final exam, has his weaknesses.”

I’m not good at a lot of things,” I said. It’s nice to get compliments, but… those two were just outlier reasons to work hard.”

In the first place, the success of both the festival and the final exam was largely due to the fact that I was in my second year of life, not because I was a talented person.

“To be honest, I envy people like you who are athletic. I think my life would have been different if I were athletic.”

I can’t help but complain about that as I look up at the clear blue sky.

Yes, in this life, but in… my previous life, I strongly believed that if only I could exercise.

“What? I’m definitely more jealous of someone who’s smart compared to someone who can exercise… And isn’t it a bit of an exaggeration to say that your life depends on whether you can exercise or not?”

“No… that’s not too big a deal for boys. After all, it could determine their character for the rest of their lives.”

“Huh? Character? From just exercise?”

It would certainly not be understood in fumihashi’s mind.

But I believe that athletic ability has a tremendous impact on one’s life.

“Yeah, this is just my biased opinion, but… whether you can exercise is determined when you enter elementary school. That’s what’s so important for boys.”

In a way, that is the most important time in life when athletic ability is considered.

It is at that point that the first school caste is determined.

“The boys in elementary school decide who is the best in the class based on their athletic ability. If you run fast or play dodgeball well, people around you will say, ‘Wow! You’re so cool! People around you will praise you, and your status in the class will rise, and you’ll gain confidence and become more and more cheerful.

Moreover, this trend carries over to middle school and high school.

This is why those who are athletically gifted are sunny from start to finish while in school.

“Yeah…!　And yet, come to think of it… when I was in elementary school and junior high, all the bright and active boys were certainly the ones who could exercise…”

“You see? So, boys who can’t do sports are positioned as ‘weak’ by the people around them. They are ridiculed and disrespected, and their status in the class goes down, and they lose confidence in themselves. I’m a little better now, but until a while ago, I was a dark guy who didn’t talk much.

“Wow… boys are like that. …Huh?　But on the other hand, what happened to make Ninhama-kun so cheerful…?　It’s not that you’re gloomy now, but you’re an energetic guy who most of the class agrees is too much…”

“Well, that’s the… thing, I’ve had a bit of a makeover…”

I can’t say that I’m a person from the future who is redoing my youth as an athletically-challenged and negative person, so I covered it up.

“But that’s what I meant when I said that it determines your character and your life. Of course, there are plenty of exceptions, and I just think that way. …At least that’s what I’ve experienced, so I don’t have a good image of exercise, and I envy people who can exercise.”

I really have nothing but abominable memories when it comes to exercise.

Falling down while running, getting hit in the face with a dodgeball, falling over when my foot swung out of the air when I kicked a soccer ball.

Every time I did, I was ridiculed and laughed at.

And I gradually lost my confidence and my self-esteem .

(Oh… I see. …I realized that when we were talking…)

The reason why I’ve become a dark and weak shadow man — it all started with my lack of athletic ability.

In other words, I’m now challenging what in a sense can be called the culprit of my shady character.

“That’s it!

“What? What the fuck?”

I looked closely at fumihashi, who suddenly pointed at me and shouted.

“That’s it! When you were catching the ball earlier, your timing was right, but you were kind of hunched over! Your eyes never left the ball, but you couldn’t look directly at it, like you were looking at something scary! I thought it was my imagination, but… Nihama’s aversion to such sports is shown in the way he plays!

“That’s…”

If you ask me, I couldn’t deny it.

Not only do I remember my traumatic past ball games, but balls basically remind me of all the failures that I had when playing group ball games.

If such subconsciousness is preventing you from looking directly at the ball, which is the most important thing in ball games, it is indeed quite a critical flaw.

“Maybe so… but even if that’s the case, how do I overcome it…?”

Is it just a matter of self-awareness, or is it a matter of determination?

No, that’s not enough…

“Hmmm… I don’t know if it will work, but I have an idea.”

“Oh, really? That’s my coach!”

“Uh… yeah, so I’m kind of embarrassed to ask you for that…”

Then, for some reason, fumihashi’s cheeks flushed and she slurred her words.

What is it? Why are you blushing here?

“Well, Nihama-kun likes Shijouin-san… right?”