I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School! - Chapter 42
42 Can you be a man enough to support my daughter?
Tokimune-san’s eyes widened in astonishment.
Well, it’s understandable that he’s surprised.
Proudly saying that I love his daughter while under such a heavy and intimidating presence is not something that high school students could normally pull off.
(Alright… I managed to say it properly…!)
One of the reasons why I didn’t yield to pressure from the president of a large company was, of course, my terrible experience as a company slave.
The boss of the company I used to work at often held me up and gave me “lectures” and “guidance”. It didn’t matter whether I screwed up at work or not, it just depended on their mood.
『You’re too incompetent, you’re too slow, you’re too stupid, why are you even alive?』
『Don’t act like it’s so difficult, you piece of sh*t. You don’t even have much work to do』
『A high school graduate? Isn’t that impossible? I’d die from shame.』
『The parents who gave birth to scum like you are also scum. They should take responsibility for producing you and hang themselves together.』
Verbal abuse, denying personalities, speaking ill of one’s parents―
The words they uttered, filled with the ugliness of human beings, were enough to cut into one’s heart and smear it with sh*t. My heart always felt like it would fester, sore, and rot away.
If their “sermons” represent a swamp of rotten waste, then the intimidation Tokimune-san exudes is like a torrent of a great river.
The water is clear and clean, though it carries a weight and momentum that could sweep you away if you aren’t careful.
(He doesn’t want to humiliate me, nor is he trying to belittle me. He didn’t have the concept of bottom-feeders who want to feel good about beating a weaker sandbag than themselves.)
That’s right, I don’t have to fear that my heart will rot in a swamp of malice surrounded with a rotting stench.
No matter how powerful it is, you just need to take a firm hold of your heart and endure.
(Although I can somehow withstand the president-level pressure, my cold sweat hasn’t stopped for a while now…!)
That’s precisely why I steadied myself with my routine actions.
I used to do this when faced with a hard task with no escape, and when I was ready to suffer a mental injury. I was telling my mind and body, “Don’t stand still! Keep going!” It’s a ritual that commands oneself to push forward.
Of course, this is just a simple psychological aid, but after using it repeatedly for 12 years, it has become a part of me, and now it serves as a switch that resets my mind from anxiety and fear and changes it into an aggressive stance.
“Did I hear correctly…? Are you telling me that you have romantic feelings for my daughter?”
“That’s right. I really like Haruka-san.”
“…!”
The answer itself is simple.
If her father asks you seriously like this, you just have to answer with your true feelings.
You must not hesitate to say it.
If you try to take a step back or lie, it can become a weakness and Tokimune-san’s intimidation will overwhelm you.
“…To be honest, I’m quite surprised. When I heard about this ‘friend’ from Haruka, I was aware that it wasn’t just a regular high school student, but now I can see that he also possesses a strong heart.”
Perhaps his evaluation of me went up a notch because Tokimune-san’s gaze became even sharper.
At the same time, the pressure of his intimidation increases as it weighs down my entire body.
(Guh, I’m sweating even more now…! Why is he being so serious about a high school boy who just came to his house to visit his daughter? If I was in my previous life as a teenager, my nerves would have been overloaded.)
“But… now that you’ve said that much… I can stop treating you like a child anymore. I’m going to continue asking you questions as a man who came to take the hands of my daughter.”
“Yes, then, that’s how I’ll answer.”
My stomach began to churn from the added pressure, but I endured it and maintained a calm face.
I’m not going to run away from the questions posed by the father of the person I love.
“…Haruka is the daughter of the president of a nationwide bookstore chain, the granddaughter of the current head of the Shijouin family, and the daughter of the next head of the family. It holds a significant meaning in the Shijouin clan.”
The current head of the family… is probably the “grandfather” that Shijouin-san mentioned at the… cultural festival.
And Tokimune-san is the one who brought his own large company, Senshuuraku Bookstore, into the family, greatly enriched the family financially, and married the daughter of the current head of the family.
Indeed, it would be appropriate for him to be the next head of the family.
“Haruka will eventually own the rights to the company and will have a strong influence in the family. She will be involved in political disputes and have adversaries amidst her various agendas.”
Tokimune-san implies that this will be different from a carefree romance of ordinary high school students.
“If you were to become the partner of such a girl, do you have the confidence to support her in the future? This is what it means to ‘really like’ Haruka, who’s in a special position.”
It was a question that made me bitter no matter how I answered it.
If I were to say that I have no confidence, I would be criticized for my lack of preparedness, and if I said that I did have confidence, I would be asked on what basis I could talk big.
Then my answer was―
“If I can walk next to Haruka-san in the future, I will… protect her from any hardships… and I will support her in what she wants to do.”
It may sound cliché, but I said everything with a hundred percent sincerity.
I want to protect her from the ruin that befell her in my previous life, as well as all the other hardships that she may encounter in the future, and most importantly, to protect her smile.
That’s exactly what I want to accomplish.
“You can talk all you want! But how can you be sure that you could be such a man when you become an adult?”
“Well, let me explain. I will tell you about my future plans to become such a man”
“…What?”
I borrowed a pen and a notepad from the table and showed the contents to Tokimune-san, who seemed to be a little taken aback.
“First of all… this is my current deviation score. This is from my second year of high school, but I plan to reach roughly this number in my third year. I believe that Tokimune-san, who praised my studying method and the fact that I got first place in the final exam, will believe these words to some extent.”
“Hmm… Well, I suppose you’re a hard worker.”
“And based on that deviation score, there are several candidates of universities that I can aim for.”
And then I list down all the possible high-level universities that I can aim for.
Not only that but also what kind of qualification I can get during my studies.
“English, bookkeeping, MOS, etc. are the basics, and depending on the company you want to work for, FP certification and TTC are also candidates. And―”
What I’m going to show is my future route.
What kind of university and what kind of department can I get into?
What kind of job can I get from that department?
What qualifications do I need for that?
These potential routes are written on a piece of paper like a branching tree with explanations.
“And if you trace this plan backward, you can see the route to take, for example, to get into Company A, you have to get into University K, get your undergraduate degree here, and get your qualification here… I’m currently in the process of choosing the best route.”
I want to decide on that by the time I graduate, but it depends on whether I can be together with Shijouin-san, so it’s still undecided.
“In the end, there are a lot of candidates, such as Company S, Company R, Company T… but that’s probably where I’ll end up.”
“…”
After I finished my presentation, Tokimune-san fell silent for a while with an indescribable expression on his face.
He seemed to be slightly taken aback.
“Ah… well, you seem to be doing a lot of research… Do you always think about these things?”
“Yes, I don’t want to fail in life.”
If you’re asking me if I’m always thinking and researching, you’re right.
After all, most of my regrets in my previous life were caused by my working for that sh*tty black company. It’s only natural that I’ll be doing some serious advance planning about how to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes again.
“So, I guess… you’re only aiming for the best companies.”
“Yes, but the most important thing for me is whether the company is a white company or not. I want a place where the employees are healthy both physically and mentally, where the salary is not insufficient, and where I can live like a human being.”
That was the point I could not compromise on in this life.
A white company.
A white company, a dream world where you don’t get abused, you don’t get overworked until your body breaks down, you get time off, you don’t have to work overtime, and you get bonuses.
If I could get there, I would be happy in my second life.
“Also, I believe that if I can get a job at such a prestigious company and gain enough experience, even if I’m not a genius like you, I can learn enough to understand how the company works and the principles of a prominent family to support Haruka-san.”
I told him that I was an ordinary man, but I could become a man who can support someone like Haruka.
“This is the plan I have for my future, to become a full-fledged adult. Is this not enough of an answer for a high school student right now?”
Looking directly into Tokimune-san’s eyes, I asked him whether it was good or not.
