Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - Chapter 94

Chapter 94: Congratulatory Gift and Mockery

Without doubt, engineering is a job that burns money. As the investor of the Roland Series Robots, as the honorary director of the Sulfur Mountain City Engineering Association, after investing without limits to develop the series, the Beyar Brothers of the Safe Merchant Group is already on the verge of bankruptcy.

Even so, the Roland series remains as an immature product. Although the towering giant robot may look impressive, if it doesn’t even have the combat ability of a Legend-rank, then it is just a slightly higher-tier punching bag in the Underground World which is full of experts. But, if they were to add in a few high-tier parts to increase its combat ability, then the funds required would be astronomical. Thus, they thought of finding an investor who is in need of higher-end military power on the Surface.

The Roland Robot that they brought isn’t the newest product of the series. Even more so, it is a second-handed product where the technology and resources used is discounted. But, on the Surface world, it is still something full of the scent of new technology. At the very least, in the eyes of the Engineers, it is a very valuable gift.

By presenting congratulatory gifts of great significance or novelty to the ascending Emperor of a large Empire, not to mention that it is the Auland Empire which is known for their extravagance, astounding returns can be expected.

The Auland Empire’s Alchemy and Engineering industry is also rather outstanding, which is also the reason for the appearance of the Air Fleet and Magic Machinery Dragon in the future. At the very least, the goblins have already set their eyes on the secret alchemy art of forging alloys as well as the theory for Magic Engineering which is a mixture of both Magic and Engineering.

The plan that they had in mind was that in the best-case scenario, they would trade the robot for technology and resources. Otherwise, earning some gold to fund their research would also be fine.

The idea isn’t bad and if left to an outstanding diplomat, the result should be satisfactory.

But, from the very start, having a diplomatic party comprising Yingou.Beyar as the head along with Kabala and Hoyle is a mistake in itself.

Kabala is a goblin orphan born in Sulfur Mountain City. It is said that going by his family heritage, he comes from a noble bloodline of Goblin Kings. He is said to be a master of civil engineering, although obviously, it is all self-taught. No one has ever seen him build any decent buildings. However, his overwhelming passion for architecture led to him examining and studying the foundations and beams propping the building up. If it was just examining, then it would still be okay. But, this lad likes to work hands on, so he would often pluck a few spare parts out to study them.

Just think about it slightly, what would happen when the central pillar of a wooden house is removed. It isn’t just one or two times that he had buried himself among rubble.

After creating big holes and rubble numerous times, people came up with nicknames for him ‘The King of Digging Holes Kabala’ and ‘The Green-skinned Termite Kabala’. He is also one of the major targets for the Town Security and ‘tomorrow, Kabala will be visiting your house’ has become a vile curse.

But, it is fortunate that he has a good head for business so he is rather wealthy. Personally, he doesn’t have the concept of money and often spend money casually. After such incidents, he would pay the victims sufficiently and surprisingly, no one was ever hurt by the buildings he collapsed. That’s the main reason why he is always just outside the boundaries of the cell.

There is nothing much left to introduce about Yingou, a moving professional explosion Alchemist. Despite being a Master Blacksmith, the Dwarf Hoyle is addicted to gambling, drinking and prostitution and is also well-known for his ability to cause destruction.

A diplomatic party comprising these 3 living treasures to deliver their congratulatory gift, to think that those short fellows could even think of it.

After reaching their destination, the Auland Empire, the gambling addict Hoyle spent numerous nights in touring the different kinds of casinos and lost a large portion of their funds. Even worse, Kabala collapsed a monastery with a century of history and compensated them with the remains of their funds. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be driven to the point of stealing ornaments from the trees by the road.

Indeed, they have visited the palace, but these fellows have no socializing skills whatsoever. They insisted on meeting the Emperor before they are willing to present their congratulatory gift and even forbid those rough guards to touch their own treasure. Seeming suspicious, these foreigners almost got treated as assassins who came with malicious intents. As such, their plan to deliver the gift met with trouble all along the way.

If such situations were to persist for a few more weeks, they might even be forced to sell their gift as scrap iron to earn a little bit of money for the journey back home.

Then, 2 days ago, they became aware of the cocktail party in Hermit’s mansion and that the Emperor is going to be present as well. Delighted, they barged in here to deliver their gift personally.

However, the fact that they did not have invitations and that they were of foreign race made it impossible for the sentries to allow them in. The result of it was the three short fellows battling with the entire security troop of Hermit’s mansion. With their experience in chaotic battles and their individual strength, the three fellows managed to claim victory.

If they were stalled for a moment just a moment longer, the Royal Guards would have arrived and they would be dealt with as assassins. The situation would be irreparable then.

What is fortunate is that Darsos came out in time. But, at the same time, what is unfortunate is that these fearless fellows offended the person they had to please the moment they opened their mouths.

“Leaving aside the insincere compliments, to strike at the sore spot of the other party murdering his father and siblings the moment they open their mouth, are you all here to deliver your gifts or to draw aggression?”

Shaking my head, I look at the enraged Darsos. I know that if I don’t interfere, the result would most probably end in the three people being sentenced to death so as to vent his anger. This isn’t the outcome I would like to happen.

“Respected Emperor, since they are here to deliver their gift, allow them to present it first. This way, you are able to show the magnanimity as the monarch of a powerful country.”

His unwillingness to lose face in my presence seems to have made my smiling persuasion effective.

Taking 2 deep breaths, he suppresses his emotions which are on the verge of exploding and nods his head.

“Since Ro… Lady Reyne pleaded in your stead, then I will give you all a chance. Guests from a foreign tribe, identify yourselves and present your sincerity.”

The 3 fellows immediately gathers together for a discussion and starts spouting introductory lines that they prepared beforehand.

“Since you have sincerely asked!”

“Then we will generously tell you!”

For…”

“Enough! Explain it properly in 10 second or I will throw all of you into the river with a stone anchor tied to you all.” I wanted to listen to their newly edited introductory lines but apparently, Darsos doesn’t have the patience for it. The roar of the Emperor made everyone lower their head and tremble in fear.

“We came from Sulfur Mountain City of the Underground World. We have heard that your majesty is about to ascend to the throne, so we travelled a thousand miles to present to you our greatest gift.”

As expected, threats are still effective.

“Underground World?”

In the eyes of the human nobles, the legendary Underground World is a place ruled with demons and monsters, filled with bloodshed and war, a totally different place from the Surface. Hearing the goblins and Gray Dwarf say that they originate from the Underground World, commotion broke out as faces of disbelief and shock appears on the faces of the nobles present.

“Cough, then show me what treasures you have brought.”

Without doubt, looking at his raised eyebrows and the slight smile on the corners of his mouth, a gift from the citizens of the Underground World from a thousand miles away made Darsos feel exalted.

I heave a sigh of relief. Their innovative idea of sending some gifts from thousand miles away is indeed an excellent one. As long no accidents happen, even if the present is just so-so, Darsos would at least act pleased and reward them significantly so as to leave behind a good legend.

“Look, this miniature No.88 Robot scaled at a 20:1 ratio is our present to your majesty.”

Kabala pulls out a broken robot from his patched sack.

That is a robot on the verge of breaking apart. It is only a meter tall and it is covered with green rust throughout its entire body. Apparently, it is made of second-handed waste spare parts leaving it without a shred of majesty that the original one possesses.

The panicking Yingou didn’t manage to explain clearly. What he meant to say is that he intends to present the bigger Robot No.88 but due to its hulking size, he can only replace it with a smaller model.

“Puu. This could be given to the kids to play with.”

“This is a direct insult to the Engineers of Auland Empire. Our Magic-Engineered Steam Armor is already 3 meters tall, what do you all mean by sending this over? Do you think that our Emperor needs this little toy?”

In the eyes of the nobles here, what they see is a few fearless countryside bumpkins presenting a small toy to the Emperor.

“Look, he has a drill and a main cannon, there is even a jetpack at the back. They are all the latest technology of Sulfur Mountain City, so they should be able to contribute to your country’s engineering research…”

I slap my forehead. Without even clearing up the misunderstanding, Yingou continues to explain seriously, as though looking down on the engineering study standards of the other party, provoking their ire.

“Tsssssssss!” “Kacha!” “Boom!”

Alright, there is no need to explain too much about this. Just like other Safe-brand products, under the hands of the goblins, this scaled down robot first short circuited and black smoke came pouring out before it exploded.

“Enough! Is this your congratulatory gift to an Emperor? Perhaps, you all take my kindness for granted!”

Blood-red light emits from his demon sword, the Emperor no longer intends to conceal his killing intent.

The 3 people stare at each other in incomprehension. Although No.88 is the product of the crystallization of the ingenuity of the Underground World engineering study, why does the other party seem to be on the verge of killing them. In the end, Kabala’s mind moves and he thought of a really bad idea.

“Since this present is unsatisfactory, then let’s just find another present on the spot.”

“Lord, this is our real gift!”

“Audacious!” “What audacity!” Looking at the presents Kabala retrieves from his sack, the nobles of Auland immediately lashes out.

That is a bunch of jewels that looked familiar. It is the ornaments used on the trees by the river. These inferior and cheap jewels that no one would pick is actually used as a gift to the greatest Emperor?

“Darn it, this is even worse than stealing flowers from the flower bed that a girl loves and using these fresh flowers to make a garland to propose to their original owner.” Such suicidal actions left me speechless as well.

“Heh, arguing with you all is really a waste of my time.”

What is fortunate is that Darsos was so enraged that he laughs instead. In the end, he shakes his head, deciding against squabbling with these goblins.

“Take them down. Forget it, you all can leave by yourself. Un? Sulfur Mountain City? Isn’t that the land of origin of the God who no one have heard of? Since the citizens there are like that, it shows how much a countryside bumpkin their true God is as well. Tell me, will the great God escape to the mortal world when a calamity there? Perhaps, our Auland will be blessed by a God as a result.”

Although the Emperor’s sense of humor is really lousy, these kinds of cold jokes that mock a true God makes one really unable to laugh, but…

“I haven’t even heard of the God of Law in the past. It was only a while ago did I hear that many merchants are switching to that faith. Indeed, as expected of the Church of lowly people.”

“Heh, we can see it from these fellows. Who knew how did that unknown fellow become a true God. He probably just got lucky and somehow Ascended to Godhood.

However, Darsos is the Emperor. No matter how bad a joke is, the nobles under his command have to try their best to follow suit. However, they aren’t dumb as well. At the very least, they know that they cannot call out the true name of ‘Wumianzhe’, otherwise if they were to catch the attention of a true God, a God’s Punishment wouldn’t be funny.

“Enough, you all can insult us but you all cannot insult Lord Wumianzhe! You foolish humans! You all can’t even compare to a finger of his.”

The hilarious high-pitched shouting of the goblin echoes around the hall and following it is the entire hall bursting into laughter.

“Don’t laugh! Do not laugh! I, Yingou.Beyar, forbid you all from laughing!”

But the more he shouted, the angrier he got, the louder the laughter of the human nobles became.

“Do not laugh, or our almighty countryside God is going to punish you.” As though confident in his sense of humor, Darsos pinches his throat and does a vivid imitation of Yingou. This caused the hall to explode in laughter once again. This time, the sound travels beyond the boundaries of the walls to outside the mansion.

“You… what do you all know, you bunch of short-lived ghosts! Wait until you all turn to dust, then the gaze of the true God will start to be directed towards you. In the face of Gods, you all must learn to be humble. How great do you think you are, Emperor of the mortals. In the eyes of that man, you are nothing.”

Alright, the furious roar of the goblin is indeed the truth, but it still hurts the pride of some people.

“Hmph, at least we had a rich and fulfilling life. What about Sulfur Mountain City? Hehe, if you all are prosperous, you all wouldn’t end up coming here to steal gems and present it as gifts! That kind of place is the land of origin of the God of Law? As expected, only in such a second-tier location will a countryside God be born.”

The moment these words come out of his mouth, the entire atmosphere chilled. Even Darsos himself immediately covers his mouth. Although he didn’t mention the name of the true God so Wumianzhe wouldn’t be able to sense it, if word were to spread out, the Auland Empire would become the mortal enemy of the Church of the God of Law.

Suddenly, the old Dwarf who seems to be on a verge of sleep all along suddenly laughs.

“An Emperor of the mortals actually dares to insult the Gods of Heaven. Just on your guts, I will toast and gamble with you. But, it is a pity that you found the wrong opponent. Yingou that fellow tends to ramble nonsense but he isn’t wrong this time. Compared to Lord Wumianzhe, even if it is the Lord Wumianzhe when he is still in the mortal world, you aren’t even as valuable as a toenail of his.”

“Hmph, I have heard of that man’s story. Isn’t he just some countryside judge who suddenly receives the approval of the Gods of Order, allowing him to Ascend as a God? It isn’t wrong for me to say that he just got lucky.”

The war between the authority of a monarch and the authority of a God is endless. Since Darsos has already offended the God of Law, there is no difference in going a little further. Thus, there is not a sliver of respect in his words towards the God of Law.

Even this sight left me speechless. If it was the Town Security or the other Judges protecting my honor, I wouldn’t be surprised at all. But, looking at this bunch of bastards, they are the perverts who have been struck down by the Town Security innumerable times. As Wumianzhe, I even took care of them several times. It is enough that they do not hold enmity against me, but for them to actually speak up for me? Maybe I should go check on my hearing and my sight.

“… Perhaps, you bunch of people may not understand. The Underground World is a true hell, it is perfectly natural for the weak to die. In that world, resources are so scarce that one could be killed over a cup of water. I am an orphan without anything and for an unlucky fellow like me, the ending that I would most possibly meet with is dying in some sewer. But, in Sulfur Mountain City, weaklings like me are able to live on. They even provided me a chance to learn architecture, giving me an opportunity to live using my own strengths.”

“We are different from born winners like you who are rich enough to use jewels to decorate trees. We, the unlucky ones who struggle to live, know that allowing the weak to live with pride and allow the strong to live without depending on hunting down on the weak is a difficult task. In this entire world, the only one who is able to accomplish such a deed is that lord.”

The solemn Kabala said so.

“‘One day, my sons will live in a country where they are not judged by their race, but by their morals’. These words are carved on the Sulfur Mountain City Gates and its square. That year, everyone simply treated it as an arrogant declaration but that man, he spent more than a century and through inching a step forward at a time, he really managed to eradicate racial discrimination. He really succeeded.”

“Can you all imagine? Dark Elf Knights who are kind to the point of foolishness, Undead Warriors who are peacefully slacking about every day, goblin lads who are hardworking and are not greedy. In Sulfur Mountain City, races aren’t important. What is important is that what you did and what you intend to do.”

The old man shakes his wine gourd and gulps down half of it.

“Emperor of the mortals, perhaps, you are able to command your armies to fight for you and your farmers to work for you, but can you make those ordinary citizens walk up to the city walls by their own free will and give up everything to protect their city? To fight a war that cannot be won? That man did it. He made the entire population of that city sacrifice their all to protect their homeland.

Somehow, the sight of the battle against the Demon Count floats to my sight and remembering those adorable citizens who walked up to the city walls by their own accord, I smiled.

“Hmph, isn’t it just a political scheme? As long as I have sufficient time, I can accomplish it as well.”

Darsos’s face hardens but he is still unwilling to give in.

At the same time, the piercing shout of the goblin echoes in the hall once again.

“Emperor of the mortals, you can probably tell that we aren’t good people. In fact, we have been locked in the jail cells of Sulfur Mountain City just a period ago because of certain things that we have done. Due to the schemes of some people, the walls of the jail fell but we didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to escape. Do you know why?”

“Hmph, that is because you all are cowards.”

“Hehe, old Hoyle and I are already Gold-rank. Going by the standards of you humans, we are masters who have transcended mortal standards. But, those who were guarding us were just a few Silver-rank. With our strength, we are able to earn a living wherever we go. But, why do we choose to obediently stay in our jail cell and suffer the ire of our juniors?”

The drunkard smiles. Those who escaped that time all died. After that incident, they reaffirmed that their choice to not escape that night was the right decision.

“Those who sinned must be punished and sinners will eventually be judged. Only through judgement can one be saved. These words were carved onto a rock placed in front of the jail. But, you all would probably just find it ridiculous. But, I can tell you that under the workings of that man, that became the rule of the city. The reason why we chose to stay in the cell is because we believe in the words of that man. After we serving our sentence, as long as we do not touch the bottom limit of the law, we can continue living with dignity in that city.”

“As long as one sins, one would be punished. As long as one is innocent, one can live with dignity. For a Gray Dwarf like me who isn’t welcomed in any Underground Cities, we are looked upon with suspicion wherever we go. But, in our city, no one will discriminate against us just because of our race. Emperor of the mortals, can you do the same?”

“After saying so much, as an Emperor, can you build a beautiful homeland where everyone can work in peace such that they are willing to give up everything for it? If you can’t do it, then you can’t even compare to a finger of that man.”

“Hah, old drunkard, how could he do it? Have you forgotten what we met with on our way here? If it wasn’t for us possessing two hands, we would have long been ‘rid of as evil’ by someone and all of our fortunes would be confiscated.”

“Hey, that’s right. Old Brother Beyar, I am starting to miss home. Perhaps, we should return back.”

“Hmph, what greatest Emperor in 300 years. As expected, rumors cannot be trusted. Without a heart that tolerates others, without the willingness to comprehend the wisdom of others, filled with jealousy and biases, this country would be ruined in his hands sooner or later.”

“Emperor of the mortals, I know you wish to be immortal, because that is what all of you Emperors with short lifespan wish for. But, even if you were to become immortal, you would only be a zombie that craves for the mortal world. You can never compare to that man who sacrificed everything to turn into the incarnation of the Law to change the world. Such a vulgar human actually dares to mock the God of Heavens, mock the incarnation of justice. Should I say that those who are ignorant are fearless? Or should I say that those who are shameless are invincible?”

At the end of their speech, the 3 of them carried their sack, preparing to leave. But this time, they are stopped.

Under the orders of a certain someone, the two Legends who were initially hidden in the secret chamber appears before them.

“To insult the Emperor in his face, you are guilty of insubordination. Throw him into the underground cellar! I will see if that incarnation of justice of yours will save you.”

Looking at Darsos’ steeled face which is ready to open blood, I know that nothing I say would help them now.

“Sigh, looks like I have to gather information once again. Where is the royal underground cellar? They really cause me tons of trouble.” Even though I say this, somehow, my mood lifted.

…theory for Magic Engineering which is a mixture of both Magic and Engineering.

TL: I know it’s obvious but…

As long no accidents happen, even if the present is just so-so, Darsos would at least act pleased and reward them significantly so as to leave behind a good legend.

TL: Legend -> It more of means a good rumor, like when an Emperor spared who and who and it gets passed down in history.

Wait until you all turn to dust, then the gaze of the true God will start to be directed towards you

TL: Probably refers to the fact that after you die, the soul goes to the Heavenly Realm.