Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich - Chapter 47

Chapter 47: Messing With The Situation
Translator: StarveCleric Editor: StarveCleric

The biannual Alliance Conference which should have been held the next week had been postponed indefinitely due to some overwhelming circumstances that couldn’t be resolved…
The reason? The empty streets in the city were the reason. The streets which should have been filled with crowds of people were completely empty. The single being that could be seen was a meter-tall transparent slime.
“AHHHH! Don’t come over, I am only here to sell my vegetables!!”
Yet another innocent victim. When the Slime was satisfied after the assault and left, a naked Beastman Auntie ran in a frenzy with her basket in hand. Her oily flabs trembled around vigorously and sweat dripped down like rain. Wherever she passed by, sounds of vomiting could be heard. 1
“This is already the 3rd time for that female Hippo Beastman. It doubt it’s still an accident. I guess this incident had provided some people an opportunity to release the wildness within them.”
Due to the sudden rampage of the mysterious Slimes, the internal workings of Vance City were paralysed. These little things werren’t difficult to deal with. Even though Slimes had high resistance against physical attacks, they had almost zero resistance towards Magic and the Divine Arts. In the Underground World where experts could be everywhere, they weren’t that difficult to deal with.
However…
Even if you could deal with one, could you deal with 10, deal with 100, deal with 1000? This toy was almost endless! Furthermore, if you accidentally allowed it to close in on you, your armour would be reduced to spare parts in an instant and taken away. Your clothes would disintegrate, not leaving a single cloth behind. Being fully nude, how much of a fighting prowess would you still have?
That’s right, no matter how strong you were, as long as you dared to wear clothes on the street, you would definitely be suppressed by the Slimes immediately through their overwhelming population and end up totally nude. There was a Mage who had created a Fire Wall by his side, protecting himself within the high temperature of the inferno. In the beginning, he managed to get rid of quite a few Slimes who pounced on him. But after 6 hours, he eventually ran out of mana and ended up like a newborn baby.
Still his case proved that this being was brainless and their numbers were innumerable. Fortunately, their weakness was discovered very quickly. They could disintegrate the fibers of cloth and taje away metal, but they weren’t able to do anything about wood. In fact, they seemed to instinctively fear it. As long as you left a wooden pole on the window, doors and circle a piece around your taps, they would retreat immediately. (The back door left by a certain Lich) 2
But, this didn’t solve the root of the problem. After all, you couldn’t really go out on the street wearing a bunch of wooden sticks. Thus, the entire city retreated in the face of those Slimes and entered into a bizarre paralysis. They weren’t interested in humans who were nude, but not everyone can awaken their new self like that Hippo Auntie.
The life of the citizens became inconvenient but in this instant, a group of warm-hearted young people pushed a wooden cart and walked fearlessly around the street naked.
They helped other people purchase their groceries and ran their errands. Also, they allowed people to pay on tab and even recruited volunteers into their team.
‘The natural body that God gave us is perfect and flawless, the unnatural clothes are the original sin. What wrong is there in releasing ourselves?’ — Simplified as the ‘Release of the Heaven’s Body’ Group. They took this opportunity to spread their beliefs (If you join in the group now, you get the right to purchase a wooden pushcart at member’s price, only limited to one per person!).”
When more and more young people started to acknowledge those bizarre teachings, they treated the Slimes as a kind of heavenly punishment passed down that targeted clothes, an unnatural creation. The ‘Release of the Heaven’s Body’, whose core group was the Wild Bull Alliance, grew at a fearsome rate as innumerable peopl were aiming for the business opportunities, those who awakened to a certain instinct and even the young people who acknowledges this bizarre cult started walking around the street naked to fight for their future wealth or their teachings. 1
Even so, the losses in this catastrophe were quite great. Before the weakness of the Slimes had been exposed, there were many vaults and rich merchants who fell prey to the Slimes. (A certain Lich: Why should we announce the weakness, we should give it some time first so as to earn more right? |A certain Maid: Shut up! Hurry up and find a way to solve this problem from the root. Wasn’t ‘solving the problems that you stir up yourself’ one of your known sayings?)
Vance City was unable to function as per normal. At the very least, the Alliance Conference had been postponed indefinitely. The faces of the nude underground city lords seemed to be like countless laughing face that were mocking the dignity of the Underground Autarchs.
When the Autarchs’ patience finally reached a limit, they even proposed completely destroying the whole city and its underground works before rebuilding the entire city from scratch. However, a sudden rumour spread around the entire city, bringing a surge of joy across the entire city — The ‘Release of the Heaven’s Body’ Group’s leader the Great Druid and their authoritative old Physician (Specializing in treating beasts) Beifeng Herault had done their research and discovered that these Slimes only had a lifespan of 10 days. Within 4 to 5 days, they should start withering as a group.
The entire city went into celebration, but no one seemed to question why two unknown rookies were able to come up with such a conclusion when the top Mages were at a loss at this current catastrophe. Still, the one who gave the biggest sigh of relief should be the Lion King himself. With the Conference of the Alliance being postponed, the responsibility was shared by everyone. However, if the auction was unable to be carried out as promised, the contract of the Devils would be enforced and he might end up being pulled down straight to the River Styx, ending it all for him.
“Oh, I could have actually still done that!”
I clapped my hands together in realization. There was such an easy method to get rid of the Lion King, but I accidentally let the opportunity slip past me.
“Actually, it still shouldn’t be too late. If I release the remains of ‘Greed’ down, then it will…”
“Cause another 10 days of catastrophe?”
“No, it will become ‘Greed’ in its perfect form. Its individual strength will at least be increased by 10 folds and there should be no limit to its longevity. If this goes on forever, the Lion King will definitely be unable to hold the auction.”
“REJECTED!! The Underground World will be destroyed like this.” Wearing a bikini created by two banana leaves, both her hands were hugging her chest to prevent exposing anything. Her little tail kept on knocking against the ground, causing a ruckus. It looked like the recent happenings had made Elisa be extremely irritable.
The silk that had been worked on, fiber clothing that did not cover the back, rattan and leaves shirt, they had all turned out to be the latest fashion trend… What, do you mean we seem silly for stepping onto our own trap?
“Heh, if other people suffered from the trap that we laid but we didn’t fall for it, wouldn’t that obviously reveal that we were the ones who set up the whole incident? Furthermore, my creations aren’t that useless and weak. They wouldn’t let all of you go just because you all are my comrades.”
“This isn’t something to be proud about!! Why do YOU still have clothes to wear!”
Yes, in the entire base of Sulfur Mountain City, as the catastrophe hit us extremely early (It started the moment I threw Greed in), we were actually pretty badly affected by the catastrophe and there weren’t many here who had even a single shit left to wear. Only I was left with my clothes intact. 2
“Do you want to listen to the truth or the lie? The lie is that my clothes are a SemiGod-class equipment, so they aren’t able to get near. As for the truth…” (They were unable to disintegrate high-tier equipment, but this didn’t mean they would stop their attack. The reason why my entire body was so slimy was because of their secretion which was unable to destroy my clothes)
“The truth is that they remember that you are their father, so they won’t attack you?”
“No, how can my creations have such a foolish weakness? Their ability to attack comes from their instincts, they do not discriminate against their enemy. Look, this is a wood-shaving spray. It’s a product from dissolving wood into a solution. As long as you spray it on your body, the Slimes, who fear wood, will definitely stay away… Hey hey, I’m sorry for not telling you about this earlier, but we are all civilized people here, so let’s not get violent!! Put down the leg of that table!” 1
Alright, under the threat of violence, I admitted that it wasn’t that I had forgotten to tell them about it but rather, it had been for my eyes to feast. Unfortunately, my honesty only ended up bringing about Elisa’s rage. Coming right after was the long-awaited communication through wrestling…
After a moment, the panting Elisa sat on my spine and asked the me who was lying on the floor.
“Have you found a way to end this catastrophe?”
“I found it, I FOUND IT! Stop bending, my old bones are about to break!!”
“Then why don’t you stop the Slimes! Is it because you feel sorry for them?”
“It will take at least a week to collect the ingredients required to make the necessary arrangements! I swear to the River Styx that I definitely am not lying this time.”
It took 1 week for the antidote to come out — But 5 days later, the Slime Calamity had ended by itself — In the end, what she had done, forcing her master to research an antidote, was in vain. This series of equation linked up in her mind. Then, the maid raged on.
“Kacha!” This was the crisp sound of Elisa’s sanity snapping as well as my thigh bones. That day, I managed to experience firsthand how powerful a Half-Demon was coupled with a Saint Pugilist Job … truly a fearsome combination. 1
—————-
I had not been so foolish as to place the main body of ‘Greed’ in the camp. That would have been equivalent to waiting for people to trace the stolen goods back to me. The main body had been placed in the deepest area of the waterworks and countless of its children served as its guards.
Outside my expectations, there was an additional volunteer guard.
After the first gold coin had been brought back to the main body, the first one to follow the trail to the main body was Little Red… When she got the details of the story, she immediately requested to serve as the guard of the treasure vault, the reason being…
“I am used to sleeping on treasure. I’ve been insomniac for so many days, it’s about time for me to enjoy a good nap.”
Fine, I knew that it was an excuse. Going by our unspoken rules, since she was willing to put in the effort, she would be entitled to half of it as a welcome present. However, with her guarding the main body, I felt at ease.
At least, if she really met with an extremely powerful opponent that wasn’t easy to deal with, Little Red’s speed in running was top-notch.
Now, the only thing that we would have to be worried about was how to sell the goods afterwards. However, in the Underground World, this was the thing that we needed to care least about.
Alright, since everything was in place, the last thing that we needed to settle was the Alliance Conference. When the Slime army started to wither and die as predicted, everyone heaved a sigh of relief. The Underground Autarch swiftly sent invitation letters for the Alliance Conference.
‘The gathering of primitives’, ‘Can those underground city lords did the Hula dance?’ 1
When the street vendors started to vehemently discuss this topic, appropriate clothing were sent soon after the invitation letter, making those unfortunate underground city lords feel thankful towards the thoughtful organization while heaving a sigh of relief. In the current market, clothes that still could be worn had long shot up to sky-high prices, it would be difficult to purchase them.
But at this moment, the goods that could only be described as best seller weren’t the lacking clothes, but information on the study of the Power of Law.
“Still worried about the invaders and Demonic Beasts that keep harassing you? There is the nemesis of those who break the law here, the senior of the Holy Light from the same sect. Even Undead, Monkeys and Half-Demons can grasp this power of the new generation — Power of Law!”
“It doesn’t cost 3 to 4 thousand, it doesn’t cost 1 to 2 thousand either, it’s yours for 998 for real! Exquisite workmanship with 99 main functions. Communicating with the Origin of Order doesn’t require money and learning how to control the spells doesn’t require money either. Furthermore, the spells sparkle!! Stop hesitating, head on over to Sulfur Mountain City’s Envoy Base to reserve and purchase it!!”
“Furthermore, the first 100 buyers will receive a second chance at lottery. The top prize is the God Equipment Scattered Page of the Codex! We will send it straight to your house and even tutor you for free.”
‘Hey hey, do you know how to judge?’ ‘Judge men! Mama, you don’t have to worry about my spell incantation failing anymore. Granny, my dream of becoming a Holy Knight has been realized.’
“Power of Law is trustworthy. In order to make convenient for our big customers to comprehend and wield it, other than the basic 998 package, we have even prepared a 9998 Deluxe Package for the noble you. Of course, if you feel like that this is unfitting of your high social position, we’ve also prepared a 19998 Perfect Luxurious Package, which comes along with a lottery card, allowing you to join in the lottery for the God Equipment Scattered Page of the Codex!”
“What are you hesitating about? Our address is Vance 32nd District Tauren Road No. 88, first come first serve. Only while stocks last.”
Striking it rich, I started to look forward to the auction and the Alliance Conference that was around the corner.
“Master, didn’t you just bring a few hundred identical information books? Those Deluxe and Perfect Luxurious version…”
“They are all the same, all the same.”
“Aren’t you afraid that they might get even with you?”
“Hehe, Elisa, you are still too inexperienced. You have to consider the mindset of those underground city lords when they purchase goods. Those underground city lords who are willing to fork out 998 Diamonds to purchase the information don’t really bother much about spending another 9000. (What? You thought that it was 998 gold coin and not diamonds? Police, chase this villager away!) As soon as we have marketed this way, those rich suckers who value their face will have to eat it no matter how expensive it is. Do you know what’s an overlord and a Little Xiong1? An overlord is someone with great wealth, the big boss. No matter what they buy, they will choose to buy the most expensive one rather than the best one! It’s because they have a reputation to uphold. Look, all 4 Underground Autarchs bought the Perfect Luxurious Version right? They can’t afford to let anyone see them buying the normal Deluxe version. Thus, our motto for our sales it that we don’t got for the best but the most expensive. Once our business’s done, we won’t have to open our shop for 10 years.” 1
“You are really a crafty schemer.”
“Thanks for your compliments.”
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CREATORS’ THOUGHTS
StarveCleric StarveCleric
Reedited by Devils_Advocate