Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm - Chapter 83
Chapter 83: Kill Him, Kids!
“Who are you?”
Li Fei was on his knees and clutching Jiang He’s head, before he promptly turned to glare his red eyes at the golden masked figure who came ever closer, hate overflowing in his gaze.
If Jiang He could not stop that man, how was he supposed to?
He was going to die regardless. What was there to fear anyway?
The employees he had been shielding behind him had all fled when Jiang He showed up to kill the Ferals. They were all average joes, and would be a burden even if they stayed.
Meanwhile, the golden-masked figure slowly approached him, his shadow appearing long and narrow beneath the streetlights, shrouding Li Fei.
A mocking smile flashed in the eyes beneath the golden mask.
“You have guts for a D-class Awakened. Well, it’s fine—I shall grant you peace in death by telling you my name: I’m Killer Star, a Grand of the Sky Demon Cult.”
He spread his hands.
True Qi surged, and vines of golden lines shone from his palm.
Li Fei closed his eyes, having no intention of putting up a fight.
However, in that very moment…
Cough!
A loud coughing voice could be heard.
Li Fei quickly opened his eyes and looked down at Jiang He in his arms, exclaiming in delight, “You’re not dead yet, Jiang He?”
Even as he spoke, he shook Jiang He firmly.
“What…”
“Blargh!”
Jiang He coughed two mouthfuls of blood and said meekly, “Two Dog Li, stop shaking me or I’ll really die.”
At the same time, he stretched his senses across his body.
His wounds…
Were grievous!
That one palm from his assailant was exceedingly frightening. It felt to Jiang He as if a highspeed rail had crashed into him, with everything from his Indestructible Diamond to his protective True Qi were shattered.
And he had at least four broken ribs!
At the same time, all his organs were bleeding, and he thought that blood was piling in his abdomen, ejecting blood whenever he coughed.
On the other hand, Killer Star had withdrawn his hand in slight surprise.
“A rank-five like you did not die outright from my full-power palm? You really are special, and there’s no wonder why the Tranquil Heavenly General and the Earth Demon Heavenly General would die by your hands.”
He clasped his hands behind his back, his tone ever casual.
Even though his lips never parted as he spoke, his voice was very loud. It was not Secret Acoustics either, but a stirring of the air with True Qi with his abdomen.
Jiang He looked up at Killer Star with much difficulty.
The Grand returned his gaze.
As they locked gazes, Jiang He couldn’t help being furious…
‘What is with those eyes? Why are you looking at me like a corpse?’
Chuckling coolly, he said, “Killer Star the Grand? Killer Star… One of the thirty-six decans? So the Sky Demon Cult actually sent a rank-eight grandmaster to deal with little old me, who is just a rank-five?”
Even as he spoke, blood leaked out of the corner of Jiang He’s lips.
Beside him, Li Fei’s face fell!
Rank… rank-eight?
Meanwhile, Jiang He struggled to stand up.
He attempted it once, and when he failed, he barked, “Two Dog, help me up!”
Li Fei, however, was at once awestruck and infected by Jiang He’s mood.
Still, he helped Jiang He up and laughed away, acting as if he did not care if they survived or died. “That’s right!” He declared smugly. “We shall die standing rather than die kneeling. Whatever dog poo Killer Star or Killer Earth you are, come take our heads already! I’m an ingrate of a son if I keep following your every whim!”
“…”
Jiang He was dumbstruck at that.
‘Aren’t you quite the actor, Li Fei? What fit are you throwing at such a critical moment?’
Still, Killer Star chuckled in his irritation.
Laughing out loud, he was about to attack when he saw Jiang He flick his wrist, and a huge, thick eggplant appearing in his hand.
Killer Star paused and his eyes tightened. “Void Storage?”
“You actually know Void Storage?”
Jiang He was stunned, but now was not the time to talk.
Opening his mouth, he crunched down on the eggplant.
The vegetable was raw and had not even been washed. Eating it like this was very unhygienic, but Jiang He could not be bothered.
His felt much better after the first bite, with his organs no longer bleeding.
By the second bite, the fiery pain over his chest also faded.
It seemed that his broken ribs were healing rapidly too.
Meanwhile, Killer Star’s expression changed again.
The fact that a rank-five martial artist actually possessed Void Storage definitely left him astounded. Still, when Jiang He started to bite down on an eggplant right in front of his face, that left him feeling…
Absurd.
In fact, he was not alone—Li Fei was confused too.
What’s going on?
You were half-dead and not going to last, so why would you start eating an eggplant? Could it be that you would rather die than become a hungry ghost?
As for the Void Storage and what not, who cares?
Still, he felt that Old Jiang was eating so keenly, to the point that he felt a little hungry too.
Therefore, he subtly tugged on Jiang He’s sleeve and whispered, “Old Jiang, give me half.”
“Buzz off!”
Jiang He yelled in annoyance.
“Jiang He!” Li Fei shot back in rage. “So this is who you really are! You would hog all the food even when we’re about to die together!”
“Who on earth is going to die together with you?”
Jiang He raised his leg and promptly kicked Li Fei aside, but also controlled his foot’s strength so that Li Fei would drop unconscious without making a sound.
Meanwhile, Killer Star’s eyes tightened.
He was left in disbelief as he stared tightly at Jiang He’s thick, huge eggplant, and couldn’t help mumbling, “No way…”
He was a rank-eight martial artist after all.
How perceptive was he towards auras?
He certainly could sense the changing aura in Jiang He’s body.
His palm before had left Jiang He half dead, and his chance of survival was almost zero if he did not get help.
And how long had it been since then?
Two minutes, at most!
His vigor was gradually strengthening from his near-death condition, and could even kick a living person dozens of meters away.
Crack, crack.
Faint, crisp sounds were audible from Jiang He’s body just then, and Jiang He exclaimed in surprise while he chewed on the eggplant, “My ribs are connecting… amazing. Wasn’t this eggplant supposed to ease swells and stop bleeding only? It actually heals bones too?”
???
Killer Star blanked out.
Eggplant?
Was it all thanks to that eggplant?
Still, he was still a rank-eight martial artist. Quickly composing himself, he smirked, “Jiang He, so what if you have a mystical eggplant? So what if you could recover to your original state? I could crush a rank-five maggot like you with one finger!”
“Is that so?”
Jiang He smiled calmly as he put away the remaining piece of the eggplant.
It feels like he was more or less healed.
Staring straight at Killer Star, Jiang He’s eyes burst with killing intent as he coldly said, “Killer Star, one of the thirty-six Decans, was it? Don’t worry. I’ll remember to burn joss paper at your grave this day next year!”
Boom!
Killer Star’s aura exploded and he extended a palm.
Jiang He met his strike with a Mighty Dragon Shows Remorse.
As palm met palm, the enormous shockwave of True Qi that ensued blew up the ground beneath both men’s feet.
Grunting and taking several steps back, Jiang He chuckled bitterly, “I guess rank-eight is more than a little stronger than rank-seven. I won’t win… alone, that is.”
Killer Star laughed heartily as he advanced. The golden markings on his palm shone again as he said, “You don’t have to worry either, Jiang He. I would burn joss paper for you this day next year too… Eh? What was that?”
He promptly turned to find a red sports car streaking towards him, making tsche-tsche-tk-tk-tk sounds audibly as it shifted forms on its way.
“What the hell…”
Killer Star’s eyes widened, and he even thought that he was seeing things.
He watched as the sports call turned into a three-meter tall Transformer, mumbling, “Am I dreaming?”
And yet, that was not all.
With a flick of his wrist, several bottle gourds appeared in Jiang He’s hand.
He blew on the orange bottle gourd first, and an orange mist landed on the ground and turned into a young child wearing an orange dudou.
Then, he blew on a second bottle gourd, and then the third…
As the Bottle Gourd Brothers all landed on the ground, all of them made the same exact gesture: sucking on their thumbs, and greeting him as one, “Gramps!”
In that very moment, Jiang He suddenly found that the Bottle Gourd Brothers were not that contemptible.
Beaming, he said, “Kids, do you see that ugly bastard with the mask?”
“Kill him!”
